Connections

Connections
Showing posts with label rust dyeing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rust dyeing. Show all posts

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Day 87 and Cardinals

Today is day 87 and this is a fabulous cardinal ... i should have started it this morning .  I didn't but I did thouroughly enjoy painting this one.

I am again late posting this but atleast I have an hour more since we are in Eastern time and our clocks were set back last night.

I am too tired to write much more .. i just love this cardinal though.

If you would like to own this cardinal send me an email at iwilldream4ever@aol.com.  see you tomorrow.










































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































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Thursday, October 23, 2014

Day 77 and Good Grief

Day 77 and I titled this post good grief because I know that grieving is a process and when you can do it, it's good. But sometimes it just seems to hit you and kick you in the butt. Right now we're in the end stages of closing up the old house that my parents lived in for the last twenty five years or so...it's difficult. Now there is every nook and cranny that has to be cleared out in the house .. NOTHING can be left there and so the reality of it hits hard and all the stuff has to be sold or moved or thrown away .. etc. And there is this sense of anxiety .. should I keep this ? How do I feel about this?

I will be glad when this is over...

It's just difficult.

The face today is a pouty sort of face .. that is how I feel .. sad and pouty. It will get better .. I will survive this load of grief and sadness ...




Send me an email if you would like to own this portrait which is painting on rusted fabric and has stitching on it. Iwilldream4ever@aol.com. See you tomorrow.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Day 76 Still having fun


Today is day seventy six and I just don't feel like thinking about anything really. Yesterday was a strange and stressful day and the best part of it was creating the portrait on the rusted denim and sitting there just mindlessly stitching away .. I do love the practice of stitching and as many of my stitching acquaintances and friends will tell you they find it addicting also.. so I am really enjoying the stitching aspect or adding it to the portraits. It really just reminds me of another project I hope to start after I finish this one. I have too many things that I want to do .. 
So what happened yesterday? My dad likes to mow my lawn, I offer to do it but he has to bring the mower here because I don't have one. Since he's here he likes to mow it. Yesterday was the mowing day and he was bringing me a piece of furniture from my mom and dad's room from the old house .. we left the mower in the front yard because that piece still needed mowing, we went move the furniture, which took about ten minutes. He left the mower by the sidewalk. I noticed dad was a bit winded from moving and removing furniture and so I offered to mow that little piece and he said OK !!! so I went to do it and there was no mower .. someone had carted it off. I noticed that the neighbor was sitting in the front yard across the street and I said did you see someone take the mower? She said "Yes" I said "why didn't you say anything? " she said "i didn't know that he wasn't supposed to take it, I thought it was trash" .. I apologized and told her it wasn't her fault and asked her what the vehicle looked like and she described it and then I looked down the street to the left and saw a vehicle like it driving away from us and asked her if that was it? She said yes that's it.. so yep .. i ran into my house and got my phone and gave chase to this van and I saw it and it turned at a light and then the light turned red .. by the time the light was green .. it was gone .. no where to be seen. I had called the police while I was in the car and told them I would just meet the police back at the house.. and my dad left. HE was not happy but he blamed himself for this ... the mower was still hot. It was not by the curb it was by the sidewalk. I guess if you want to get rid of anything at all just set it outside .. people will take it without even asking for sure if you wanted to get rid of it. The good news is that someone spotted the van later in the day and gave me the license plate .. still haven't heard anything yet. The officer said he would call me either way. Who knows .. so that's the story .. in my everyday life.. what a day. 

If you would like to own today's portrait just email me at iwilldream4ever@aol.com it is the price of the day. This one is about 71/2 x 10. See you tomorrow .. 

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Day 75 Mending my heart with Stitches and Tears.

Today is day 75 and woohoooo .. it's not midnight and I'm still tired but .. it's not a torturous attempt to get the portrait done before the clock strikes twelve and I turn into a pumpkin again....

I have done stitching on faces before but I really want to try to combine two things here .. actually three. This is rusted denim that I have painted a portrait on and then I have stitched threads in sashiko style stitching. I really love how this looks .. and so this marks my three fourths of the way through. I have only twenty five days left to paint portraits. It's amazing really that I have gone so far .. and I have learned so much.

A note to my self..... I see you.... .. I hear your heart and I know that you are having a hard time saying goodbye to things.. that held the happiness and love of a mother .. the things that she surrounded herself with to make her happy.

What I notice is that my dad has built a new house with no sign of my mother. His words are there is nothing feminine. He misses my mother, he feels strange in the new house, there is something missing... no longer the touch of his wife. No longer the things surrounding them that she loved. Her energy is not there.. he misses the familiarity of his old home. The sunshine on the river water .. even though he didn't sit and gaze at it.. it was always out the window. I notice that it is never expected all these feelings that he struggles with. He didn't think this would happen. He thought it would make it easier..but he doesn't feel her presence in the new place .. not that things embodied her but that you saw her in the color of the pillows.. you saw her in the arrangement of the art. You saw her in the flower's that sat in every corner,  on tables and over doors and windows.. all of that is gone. I don't think we think about that.. I really don't know for sure what causes these attachments to things that I struggle with my self. We are selling a lot of things .. and I have a looming sense of fear that something will go away that I should have taken .. or that I should not sell.? Where does this come from? I don't know .. it's holding on .. .it's pain. All I can do is cry .. they are just things. They are just things ... I know she is in my heart.. Perhaps that's the mending in this portrait.. Mending my heart with stitches and tears.

I may not part with this portrait either .. but if you would love to own this one send me an email at iwilldream4ever@aol.com. Thanks for stopping over and I'll see you tomorrow.


Day 74 and I'm tired.

Today is day 74 .. and here it is again after midnight .. i'm tired.

This portrait is painted on a piece of rusted and walnut dyed fabric. I am doing a class with Katrina Rodabaugh called Slow Fashion Style. This portrait is stitched onto a piece of rust dyed fabric as a way of combining my love of portraits and stitching. :) I have acquired all of my mom's fabric .. there is a lot. Right now we are doing a garage sale at my mom's house .. while my dad is starting to down size after moving to a new house. I want to keep everything .. I can't keep everything but I still want too .. this is a struggle .

This portrait is about 9 x 11 and .. will have more stitching then what is here .. if you would like to own this portrait just email me at iwilldream4ever@aol.com.

Have a good day .. again I struggle .. but it will get better soon.. See you tomorrow..

Monday, August 18, 2014

Day 11 hmmmmmm

I have to keep reminding myself that everything is ok. Even mistakes or works I wish were better. Maybe that mind set or fear of not being good enough interferes i don't know. Maybe they don't get better and better.. i sense that pressure that they should be.

I get tired of hearing my thoughts haha. Maybe you do too if your reading my posts.

I may have to mix it up a bit to keep myself motivated to keep painting.

Maybe some days it's best to just make less words.

Either way it's REALLY all Good.. I just love that so far .. yes only day 11 but i'm still doing it. Someone emailed me and said they would be bored doing the same thing every day for 100 days but I assure you I am not just painting. Maybe I can post some in between posts of what I sandwich in between these portraits.

I've been volunteering at a lady's church bazaar too .. painting silly images and stitching things like purses and bracelets. I enjoy that experience. I've even been knitting and crocheting .. :) Thanks for stopping over. Blessings to you. Oh and just a reminder today's portrait is for sale .. acrylic on rusted fabric .. this one has a few holes in it so those are no extra .. i usually say they are extra. haha .. about 7" x 11" . let me know if your interested. :) The price is the day number.

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Day 10 and still going

Day 10 and the temptation is to judge my work. Or if it isn't just how I wanted it to turn out .. or what i'd wished I done better or whatever, is always in my head. So I am being self critical. There is a saying that I hear from time to time, "f you see it you got it".. or another one that says "you cannot see in other's what is not inside of you". If you see things in others then you have this trait in yourself. I've also heard that if you judge yourself you probably judge others this same way. This pokes me, because I don't wish to be judgmental. Then I can take it one step further .. how I wish to be with people in general is compassionate and loving with kindness in my heart. So I can practice compassion and loving kindness with myself. Today's face feels like a loving smile on my heart. I have to constantly tell myself that it is enough. My heart can be loved ...i am worth loving.

I have to say this sharing like this is a bit like cracking open the door to my closet. haha .. I fear judgement. Either way I am enjoying the process, even though I may proceed with caution. ha  And the most difficult part about today's portrait was the smile ... you have no idea how easily a line can make a smirk or a oddly strange expression. I also know that everyone see's the images with their own filters. Today I see love. And this feels good for me.

Thank you for stopping over. It is for sale so if your interested ..send me a message here or email me or comment on my facebook page, My Art of Hearts. I am trying to add as many likes on that page as I can, so more people will see what I'm doing. The more the merrier right? Have a love filled day!

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Day 9 and going with it ..

Well .. today i was rushing .. just being honest. I always want to love every painting like they are something from me that is a creation .. i know it will sound silly but i do get attached to each little one. I want to put my heart and soul into each one .. so today i'm off to have some fun and i could have waited till later .. but i like this morning ritual. Sometimes I just have to remind myself that this is a personal challenge for me .. to keep going, to practice what I do so love every single day.

Tomorrow will be more words. i'm loving this process so far..

This as all the others for sale day number is the price and it is 6" x7" on rusted fabric painted with acrylic paint.

Have a fabulous day!!!

Friday, August 15, 2014

Day 8 of Painting 100 faces in 100 days

Today i am working on lighter rusted fabric.. it's always a challenge to decide how much to finish and how much to leave just the subtly of lights and darks. I have to tell you I have noticed that one thing seems to always get in my head when I am finishing up a painting. these are not lengthy exercises so i just get to a point where I can hear this past professor in college which was not that long ago .. he was teaching me photography and when it came to printing in the darkroom there were always decisions to be made .. he was always willing to give advice as to what it needed .. less exposure more exposure. It was a challenge even to learn the meaning of flat and hot .. in photography. I would go step by step .. tediously adding more dark or more light .. he would remind me that it was better to take bigger steps .. haha .. or we'd be here all day. so i did and over time I knew that flat meant pretty much over all gray no contrast at all .. this is where the words whitest white and blackest black. It doesn't have to be all over .. just somewhere. It gave depth to the photo.. One day when I came to him for the millionth decision of what to do next .. he just looked at me and said your on your own. lol .. finally after looking at many critiques of photos and taking bigger leaps and making sure I had those lights and darks......i got there. And I often say that learning photography changed my whole world completely..i saw the world through the camera and i noticed the light......i suddenly saw the way the light hit the power  lines in the early morning when the dew was still resting there and it glistened. I saw the way that droplets of water reflected the sun on a spider web and looked magical, I saw the power in the suns light as it streamed through the trees like vertical beams and it touched my heart......it spoke my heart..and I ran and got the camera. So i'm grateful for other media and teachers that gave me that ability to see in a new way. His name was Blake. So .. i guess I went down memory lane. I think it's a good thing. Just glad to be doing this everyday. Thanks for stopping over. Oh and yes today's painting, $8. Message me or leave me a comment. Have a light filled day, and maybe notice where it hits. :)

Thursday, August 14, 2014

7th Day of 100 faces in 100 days

Well looking back on yesterday given the situation the day before that .. i guess i was really just completely saddened by everything........and it's just a horrible feeling to feel powerless. So the weight on my heart was heavy yesterday ...i felt as though i was feeling some of the collective sadness in the world...nearly overwhelming. I suppose its a lesson in taking better care during those times. Perhaps some meditation in the garden would have been good. A long chat with my neighbor was welcome relief. So i see that in today's portrait there seems to still be some lingering sadness. Who doesn't have some of that...?
I am still excited about pushing myself to do this..i know it can and already has had an effect that is positive and good so far and we are only on day seven.

So .. thanks for the friends that poked me yesterday when i was really feeling down and made me laugh or just get by.

I have lots of good ideas percolating in my brain. And I look forward to the mornings of painting.  And these as always are for sale .. days are the price so today's face is $7. Leave me a comment or email me and it's yours! Thanks for watching. oh and this is 7" x 11" on rusted fabric. :) oh and if you are on facebook .. I'd love it if you would like my page.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Day 6 .. of 100 faces in 100 days.. what I think

Ok .. not hyper realistic.. it is an experiment and doing today's painting I had a lot going on in my head. So I decided to just do that .. not pretty I guess. SO here's what comes up .. i think everyone wants to see pretty pictures. I want everyone to love me .. so i want everyone to like what I paint. Sometimes i take myself way to seriously .. I want artist friends to like my work and some do but many don't say anything. I think what they think .. or let me say I tell a story to myself about why they do or do not do something I want. When I put it out there like this I realize how ridiculous that sounds. So I really just want to be honest with myself .. when I went onto facebook this morning I really didn't want to post this image. I really thought .. well they (who are they?) are not going to love this, because it's not a beautiful face .. not lovely .. not refinely finished. I judge myself pretty harshly .. i write letters and get no response and I imagine what they think .. i assure you it isn't good what i imagine their reasons are. I get angry.. and no one likes to be around angry negative people. So .. why does it come up that way? Change is hard.. not sure how I can only paint pretty pictures. I'm just putting out my honest feelings. I want things to be different for me. Not be so serious. I do love painting and I love faces and eyes. Doesn't every person even the ones that dont look like magazine images of beautiful men and women want to be loved for who they are. I can be angry about that but in the end i picture me stomping my feet and wanting to scream just love me .. and i can't see people running up to that. So .. do you tell people that? Or just don't ever really tell the truth and hope you'll get better at enjoying your life and what is around you. So .. thanks for stopping over and reading my rant today if you did. Tomorrow's another day .. it's only day six in this experiment ..hmmmm lots more days to go. haha..

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Day 5 of 100 Faces in 100 days

This morning a friend called while I was in the middle of painting day 5's painting and asked if i wanted to go somewhere.. i thought .. o.......no .......i have to finish this. I could do it later. No .. got to get this done. Then I hear the pressure in my head that today's painting must be better better better ..than yesterdays. So it's interesting to notice these things. IT's not about being better.. it's about doing another one and getting into the routine of daily painting. Most day's I end up doing alot of other art as well .. so for me it's about Inertia. The definition of which is a resistance to any physical object to change it's state of motion or lack of motion. I want my state to be moving, continuing to paint, create, make. I notice the resistance .......i am enjoying however the process. Mostly having to notice what's in my head which is always processing and thinking. Now .. i'm going to head to the beach and .....walk and enjoy the sand and sun. This is today's painting .. Girl 5. for sale for $5. on rusted fabric about 7 x 10 inches. Thanks for stopping by .. could always use the encouragement. Thanks. :)

Monday, August 11, 2014

Day 4 of my personal challenge to paint 100 faces in 100 days.

So little it seems to say ........i am finding that this challenge is at least giving me something to look forward too every day. I do love painting faces. I do find that i wonder how they stack up, finding i want to be grouped in with other artists or feel as important or as good as or something. I want to be positive and I guess that the painful truth is lately I am so negative ..  so rather than talk about that part. I am really happy with the results so far. I am enjoying the process and what it will teach me. I am excited about the results it will give me and my drawing/painting skills.

Thought i'd just put it out there .. i am thinking i'll just make extra and post more then one time a day .. maybe they don't all have to be painted. I did say 100 faces .. not 100 painted faces. hmmmmmmm

well it is good to just have a record of what I'm doing here. I paint a while and now i'm going to do some stitching . ... stitching feels like melodic therapy to me. I'll post those results if i get any. Thanks for stopping over to read my ramblings.

The face is about 71/2 by 11 and is acrylic paint on rusted fabric. Send me an email if you would like to purchase it. Every day the price will go up a dollar.. the day is the price. I'd love to read your comments. I post these on FB too on my page https://www.facebook.com/MyArtOfHearts?ref_type=bookmark to try to keep myself accountable to my friends.  I'd love it if you would like my page. I seem to need the motivation of saying it out loud to the world to get myself going .. jumping in with faith. Hoping you will notice if something doesn't continue .. hoping you will spur me on. Hoping i won't need it and i'll just do it ........cause i love too. .....:)

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Day 3 of 100 faces in 100 days

Well i've been pleasantly surprised at the response to the faces. Hope it keeps up .. it's fun to do ..

I know that this will only be a good experiment because it will give me more experience and it will keep me busy.

Today has gone by too fast and it's a late hour to be adding day 3. I hope to do it sooner every day.

This one is still available. $3

Please share with your friends.

THanks for looking!!!

Saturday, August 9, 2014

Day 2 of 100 Painted Faces in 100 days

So here I am on day two, I figure if i keep this up I will just increase my skill for faces. This one seems a bit flat but it's not about perfection for me .. it's an experiment and I think it's going to be a good challenge for me to stay motivated. For sale also .. $2. just message me if your interested.

It's all good. I'm excited just to do it.

Thanks for looking.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Rusting Right Along

I haven't blogged in a while so thought I'd share some things I've been doing. Besides loving so many different media I am still compelled to create new and different things. I still love love love creating rusted fabrics. I've found some interesting ways to use them. I have some in a gallery near where I live. Here are some photos of work that I recently took into the shop. The shop is Art&Light gallery in Greenville, Sc not far from where I live. These pieces are for sale. Everything here except the photo of the sunset.
It's always a challenge trying to make art for a living. So when I'm not sewing and selling clothes I'm busy rusting, walnut dyeing and painting. I want to get an online shop going as well ...hopefully that will be soon.

I'm always open for words of wisdom if any of you would care to share how your able to live as an artist and make ends meet if you happen to do that.

The sunset .. I love the way that the sun seems to roll under the clouds like a mist of light rolling in.

And here is the link to the gallery i am in: http://artandlightgallery.com/uncategorized/tammy-millers-sustainable-forrest-art/#more-1072


Saturday, July 7, 2012

Flat Out Under Pressure


A few weeks ago I participated in an event in my hometown called the title of this post. The purpose was to compete with other local artists to win a spot on a trash bin. Doesn't sound to illustrious but if you won one of the top eight spots you won a little cash and the top winner won an all expense paid trip to Tuscany. I thought that alone was worth the try .. cause you just never know. So I did the necessary things to enter and after 24 hours of effort. Oh you had 24 hours to create something and turn it in. Here is what I created. A collage of rusted papers and cloths and my painting and cutting and arranging and it all came together. I was very happy with the results of this work. I didn't win but that's ok because I had a blast creating. I had spent most of the day outside working on this because I just seem to be happier outside and while I was out there something kept buzzing my shoulder and when I looked I noticed it was a dragon fly and this made me very happy so I included him in the painting. If you look closely you'll seem him in there. So overall a good experience and if it happens again next year, I'll try again !!!! Oh and for those of you that have been following me I've just been busy so I haven't posted so much but I'm hoping to pick it up again soon!! ANd more photos to come too. THanks for stopping over and I'd love to hear your thoughts!!!

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Fog, Frogs and Feathers

I seem to have less time these days and I find I miss the quiet of staying home for days at a time. We've had a lot of rain and with rain comes fog and frogs. I don't know why but it seems that I find some creatures in my yard just as they are about to have their last breath. I am always somehow overwhelmed and honored to have to be aware of this. My Molly dog who is a cute little Miniature Dachshund of a brindle coloring is born to hunt and seek out all living creatures ... can't imagine why she is this way but it's just her nature. I'd rescued a toad from her before but a week or so ago I was a bit too late. She suffered for it with a mouth full of foam, I wiped her mouth clear and put her inside and went to check on the toad. I can't tell you how sorry I felt that this toad seemed to have been fatally injured. There were no puncture wounds however he just seemed to have a look to him. I took him back to my back yard and explained to him that he might have better stayed back there where there were no dogs to find him or dig him out of his hiding spot. Molly will relentlessly dig to find something. I sprinkled rain water over his fat body and he would move but with great difficulty. I sang him a lullaby. Silly, a grown woman singing to a toad. And finally I had to walk away and hope that I was somehow just being too worried and hoping as I passed around the corner of my house that he would have miraculously recovered and hopped away .... but alas it was not so and he had passed.
















It seems appropriate that some of the days were gloomy, I miss the toad.


And now to what I enjoy doing. Lately, it's stitching and following Magic Diaries and the Spirit Cloth blog of Jude Hill. Besides all the wonderful workshops that she teaches she is also doing a project called The Magic Feather project. She hopes to collect 1000 feathers. She is thinking of giving a creation with these to Wendy Golden-Levitt . Here is my feather that I have put many hours into. I guess I always think I have to be different. Everyone was stitching the actual feather so I thought I would stitch everything around the feather. I wanted the intent to give to somehow be evident. The cloth that is here is a baby bassinet sheet. One I used on a bassinet that was mine, and I'm certain that each one of my three babies lay on it at one time or another. My daughter had it and decided she wouldn't be using it because it just doesn't fit the new kinds of bassinets. So for some reason I couldn't discard it and instead I rust dyed it and ripped it into many cloths. I love the way that Jude will sometimes draw outlines or images to stitch and so I had intended to draw the feather first and see what I would do. I stitched the center of the feather and liked the drawing and thought maybe my stitching would take away the lightness of the way that feather appeared in the drawing. The pen is a black ink pen made for drawing on fabric that I have used and it won't wash out but even if it fades what will be left is all the shape of the feather. Either way I am sure it will imply feather. It was at this point that I had decided that the stitching would be outside the feather. I intended loving thoughts into each stitch. I carried this little piece of cloth in my purse with a needle and a thread and every time I had a moment to be still and quiet I would take this out and stitch. There are many hours in this and last night I was with friends, some that were hurting and some that were comforting the ones that hurt and I stitched and listened and made the last stitch. Later I was about to stitch my name somewhere on it and the needle fell to the floor. I was in a restaurant sitting in a booth. I felt around for the needle but couldnt find it. I guess I'll have to find another one... but i'd grown attached to it. Silly. I wonder if I did too much when she wanted something simple. I guess I wanted to give my best love into a feather stitching which is time and energy. mostly just to give.
















So if you would like to add a feather to her collection please follow the link above on her name and click on the Magic Feather Project and find some wonderful words and magical inspiration and make a feather, any kind at all, so she can reach that goal. And be a part of something magical. :) Oh dear .. I almost forgot the back .. I love the way the back turned out too!!!  aaaaccckkkk. here it is: