My thoughts, photography, drawings, weavings, sewing, fiber dyeing, stitching, painting. All things that move me.
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Day 6 .. of 100 faces in 100 days.. what I think
Ok .. not hyper realistic.. it is an experiment and doing today's painting I had a lot going on in my head. So I decided to just do that .. not pretty I guess. SO here's what comes up .. i think everyone wants to see pretty pictures. I want everyone to love me .. so i want everyone to like what I paint. Sometimes i take myself way to seriously .. I want artist friends to like my work and some do but many don't say anything. I think what they think .. or let me say I tell a story to myself about why they do or do not do something I want. When I put it out there like this I realize how ridiculous that sounds. So I really just want to be honest with myself .. when I went onto facebook this morning I really didn't want to post this image. I really thought .. well they (who are they?) are not going to love this, because it's not a beautiful face .. not lovely .. not refinely finished. I judge myself pretty harshly .. i write letters and get no response and I imagine what they think .. i assure you it isn't good what i imagine their reasons are. I get angry.. and no one likes to be around angry negative people. So .. why does it come up that way? Change is hard.. not sure how I can only paint pretty pictures. I'm just putting out my honest feelings. I want things to be different for me. Not be so serious. I do love painting and I love faces and eyes. Doesn't every person even the ones that dont look like magazine images of beautiful men and women want to be loved for who they are. I can be angry about that but in the end i picture me stomping my feet and wanting to scream just love me .. and i can't see people running up to that. So .. do you tell people that? Or just don't ever really tell the truth and hope you'll get better at enjoying your life and what is around you. So .. thanks for stopping over and reading my rant today if you did. Tomorrow's another day .. it's only day six in this experiment ..hmmmm lots more days to go. haha..