Ok .. not hyper realistic.. it is an experiment and doing today's painting I had a lot going on in my head. So I decided to just do that .. not pretty I guess. SO here's what comes up .. i think everyone wants to see pretty pictures. I want everyone to love me .. so i want everyone to like what I paint. Sometimes i take myself way to seriously .. I want artist friends to like my work and some do but many don't say anything. I think what they think .. or let me say I tell a story to myself about why they do or do not do something I want. When I put it out there like this I realize how ridiculous that sounds. So I really just want to be honest with myself .. when I went onto facebook this morning I really didn't want to post this image. I really thought .. well they (who are they?) are not going to love this, because it's not a beautiful face .. not lovely .. not refinely finished. I judge myself pretty harshly .. i write letters and get no response and I imagine what they think .. i assure you it isn't good what i imagine their reasons are. I get angry.. and no one likes to be around angry negative people. So .. why does it come up that way? Change is hard.. not sure how I can only paint pretty pictures. I'm just putting out my honest feelings. I want things to be different for me. Not be so serious. I do love painting and I love faces and eyes. Doesn't every person even the ones that dont look like magazine images of beautiful men and women want to be loved for who they are. I can be angry about that but in the end i picture me stomping my feet and wanting to scream just love me .. and i can't see people running up to that. So .. do you tell people that? Or just don't ever really tell the truth and hope you'll get better at enjoying your life and what is around you. So .. thanks for stopping over and reading my rant today if you did. Tomorrow's another day .. it's only day six in this experiment ..hmmmm lots more days to go. haha..
Hmmmm - my comments seem to have gone into the ozone layer for some reason (I've been having issues on other blogs too, so it must be me!). Anyway. As I was saying.... Not everything must be beautiful or perfect, because there is beauty to be found in honesty.
ReplyDeletethank you for your comment .. sometimes all you need is one word.. or one person to notice..so thank you for that .. so today's offering got one like on FB .. i guess many don't find value in it. Or i put some people off .........thanks again... very much.
DeleteHave a good day (tomorrow) Tammy ;-)
ReplyDelete(and perhaps this one turns out to be not so bad either !)
Ha, you're sticking your tongh to the world : I do as I please, take it or leave it !
Thank you for this .. and I have to tell you when I read your comment I had to laugh out loud ....it does appear that I did just what you said .. maybe not so nice .. I just felt a lot of pressure to keep painting beautiful people .. and then i thought what if your not magazine pretty?? But I also thought .. no one would like it and did that happen because i believed that would happen or because it's true....so it's tempting to paint pretty faces....cause i know everyone will like those ....so i'm getting in my head too much .. going to go outside and play in rust buckets for a while .. Thanks for stopping and making me laugh.. :)
DeleteI thoroughly enjoyed this blog, thanks for sharing
ReplyDelete