Tuesday, October 21, 2014
Day 75 Mending my heart with Stitches and Tears.
I have done stitching on faces before but I really want to try to combine two things here .. actually three. This is rusted denim that I have painted a portrait on and then I have stitched threads in sashiko style stitching. I really love how this looks .. and so this marks my three fourths of the way through. I have only twenty five days left to paint portraits. It's amazing really that I have gone so far .. and I have learned so much.
A note to my self..... I see you.... .. I hear your heart and I know that you are having a hard time saying goodbye to things.. that held the happiness and love of a mother .. the things that she surrounded herself with to make her happy.
What I notice is that my dad has built a new house with no sign of my mother. His words are there is nothing feminine. He misses my mother, he feels strange in the new house, there is something missing... no longer the touch of his wife. No longer the things surrounding them that she loved. Her energy is not there.. he misses the familiarity of his old home. The sunshine on the river water .. even though he didn't sit and gaze at it.. it was always out the window. I notice that it is never expected all these feelings that he struggles with. He didn't think this would happen. He thought it would make it easier..but he doesn't feel her presence in the new place .. not that things embodied her but that you saw her in the color of the pillows.. you saw her in the arrangement of the art. You saw her in the flower's that sat in every corner, on tables and over doors and windows.. all of that is gone. I don't think we think about that.. I really don't know for sure what causes these attachments to things that I struggle with my self. We are selling a lot of things .. and I have a looming sense of fear that something will go away that I should have taken .. or that I should not sell.? Where does this come from? I don't know .. it's holding on .. .it's pain. All I can do is cry .. they are just things. They are just things ... I know she is in my heart.. Perhaps that's the mending in this portrait.. Mending my heart with stitches and tears.
I may not part with this portrait either .. but if you would love to own this one send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org. Thanks for stopping over and I'll see you tomorrow.