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I just totally loved the color of greenish yellowish limesh and then that lovely tone of golden brown and all so metallic looking and yes I'd seen them before but I seem to have new eyes seeing all nature lately and yes I have always loved nature, bugs, birds, animals etc... I just seem to find so much in them these days. Then suddenly there in the sunlight the noise of buzzing just stopped. I thought maybe it stopped for a rest .. no movement and I kept snapping photos i did have this feeling that something was wrong when it was buzzing but thought perhaps it was just trying to get it's bearings again for flight.. and when the sound stopped and snapped closer shots .. then I touched it .. it was dead. For some reason the idea that I had just snapped the last moments of its life just took over my thoughts and the fluids dripping from my head weren't from sweat ... somehow I just felt overwhelmed. Then I couldn't understand why I would feel such emotion when I swat a mosquito and think nothing of it.. I want to stay far away from copperhead snakes .. I dislike very much and think nothing of killing a no-see-um. I'd like to think that those bugs and reptiles I dislike can harm me. So .. if it's between me or them .. they will have to go. But the june bug .. I guess was doing it's death dance and I was so honored somehow.. and then with me lately it seems that it doesn't just happen once .. but it seems to come in droves. I sometimes wonder if I just learn hard .. so i need an extra dose of whatever... to learn it. The next few hours I heard a noise and investigated to find an imperial moth flapping it's wings in the brush .. i wanted to get a closer look so I excavated it to my hand. I know that they don't live long so I knew that it was going to die, just not when. And for some reason I just felt that somehow I needed to be with it as it passed and started singing it a lullaby .. i know .. seems silly .. but i just needed to do this. I snapped several photos of it too .. I'm thinking that somehow .. these creatures will hopefully end up on my cloths .. who knows .. but they are quite stunning. This one below is sitting on my blueberry dyed piece of ivory wool. It's so sadly gray but also nicely gray. This was about the last moment. I felt sad but knew that the cycle of it's life is very short. All the time from caterpillar to moth just to live about a week and find a mate and lay eggs .. to just die. It lives to create more.. maybe I'll just think of it .. as it living to create .. thats what I want to do .. live to create.
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