The Spiral of My Life Abstract #17

It's never for sure what I am going to be led to paint but that is the plan of what I'm doing. Maybe the painting will speak to me and tell me what's up. Kind of like interpreting a dream. I did some printmaking images back while I was newly separated from my spouse of many years and a man that came into the college saw several of my pieces hanging on the walls and he was a potential client when graphic design was my focus. I was showing him some of my work just to give him an idea of how my mind works. He was about to start a dating/matchmaking service. I will always remember that he looked at my art and said .. oh .. you have issues. I just laughed. I didn't do any work for him. I probably had too much "stuff/baggage" that may have influenced the design he wanted .. it still makes me laugh. Hopefully, my work today is a little less obvious. I'm still working out how to create emotionally charged work with out being literal. And does it even matter? I see lots of movement and again intensity. but this one I love to look at. Makes me feel like I'm going somewhere. I was listening to one of the grammy winning artists today that I heard talk about his acceptance speeches and just the fact that he won. He thanked the woman that broke his heart because it lead to a profoundly beautiful song and so many wonderfully good and happy things have happened because of that .. and it got him a grammy. He was happy. Wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone could have or see these things that happen in their lives and you could follow the difficult paths of life to beauty and joy and wonderful happiness. If we can just cope long enough.. if we can just get to that pivot point where life turns toward goodness and acceptance. It could be a spiral into life .. or on top of life .. into new spaces new experiences I don't want to miss any of it. I am holding out for the next adventure and I am going to paint my way into it.

Thanks for stopping over and having a peek at today's painting.. contact me if you are interested in owning it. Write to me at iwilldream4ever@aol.com. This is about 15 x 15 acrylic on wood panel. Ciao.

Day 99 and Under the Sea

Today is almost over .. i fell asleep as I was about to edit the photo of this and then write the post. Fortunately, I am awake again and I still have about a half hour before the day is officially over.

I decided to paint this beautiful fish today because it reminded me that I was so fortunate to have snorkled or swam in the red sea. One day I went with my mother to snorkle in the water out in front of the hotel where we would stay sometimes when we'd go to the port about three hours away from our home in Africa. We were in a sort of bay and there was a kind of jetty with a lighthouse .. we decided to go and check out the water's along the jetty. When we got to the other side the water was deeper and the view was like a magical garden of fish and color and beauty that I could only imagine in my head but there it was right in front of my eyes. This painting reminds me of that scene. I always recall that moment as feeling as if I'd jumped into a treasure box. I'll never forget what I saw.

If you would love to own this beautiful fish please email me at iwilldream4ever@aol.com.  Thank you for your support during this experience. I can't believe that this will be the last time for me to write .. see you tomorrow in this project. :)

Day 95 and Frog faces

Well today is day 95 and there are now only 5 left to go. It's been amazing really. I really just find myself enjoying the painting and I spend a good bit of time on each of these paintings and even though I try to limit that I enjoy it so much that I put more and more into each one. Somehow the maps just seem to make a great background for the creatures that I have been painting on them. These guys have such personality with their big big eyes. and what appears to be a big smile. This is a tree frog but I've come across many toads in my life. One my dog got to messing with and I rescued it from her grip.. the toad just sort of sat there as if it were dead and then much later it was gone. I hoped that it was just resting and playing possom and that is what I hope and believe. And i've imagined it hopping away when the coast was clear enough to leave.

If you would love to own this cute frog face just email me at iwilldream4ever@aol.com. And have a great day. See you tomorrow!

Turtles

Today is day 61.. I'm still kind of tired but glad to have my art to keep me going and focused on something good and fullfilling.

I painted the turtle because it always reminds me that it is ok to slow down and take care of my self. To retreat into the shell for a just a time until the danger or whatever is lurking has passed. There was a post on my blog a few years ago .. I think called It's been a turtle week.. I had seen a series of turtles about three in a row. I like to think about the messages that nature can bring me. I love how the Native American Indians interpret the symbols of nature. I know for me when the turtles showed up in my life I realized how much I loved nature and it caused me to go outside and really look at the nature that was around me there where I lived. I loved doing that. I even saw a tiny turtle.. things I have never EVER seen there. This really gave me so much happiness. I enjoyed looking at them and letting them be themselves and just feeling so honored to be able to witness their magnificence. I know that I will always love nature.

If you would like to own this turtle painting. Email me at iwilldream4ever@aol.com. Today's painting is $61. See you tomorrow.

Day 55 and Camels

Day 55 and so this means there are 35 more days to go.. today I have a lot to do .. so I am feeling the pressure. I still love doing the faces and I don't think that I will ever stop loving painting. I don't care for the stress.. so I may have to change things .. but it won't impact this aspect of my life .. I am committed to doing this!!!

I have recently been looking through old family photos. That was one thing that my mother was very good at doing as well as organizing all the things that she saved. She kept lots of family photos and back then you had to take them with a film camera and get them developed. I found a photo of me wearing a christmas outfit that my mom made and I am riding on the top of a camel by my self. I look to be about 6 years old. If you know anything about camels they have that hump on their backs and the saddle is usually on top of that if you are doing the odd thing of riding on one. They are kind of like horses for us in the US. They are the mode of transportation used in the desert. They are very tall and when you hold onto a saddle while it's laying down when it gets up its something like an amusement park ride or a roller coaster. It's the same when they get down. I think that the scarier thing however, is not the ride, but the noises that the camel makes. And the long neck that allows it to have easy access to you on it's back. The noise sounds like Chewbacca from the star wars movies. That is a bit scary to a six year old child. So this photo I found was me riding a camel while attending a children's Christmas party in Africa. Guess that's how they do it there.. or at least that's how American's do it in Africa. I have also ridden on one while we were at the beach on the coast. An animal roller coaster ride. This one looks cute and they all did have those big black eyes and all have their own unique look and with much character. This ones a cutey.

If you would like to own this Camel send me an email at iwilldream4ever@aol.com. He's painted on a folder with a map and red paper as well as an envelope sewn together. About 8-9"x10". Hope you have a great day. See you tomorrow.

Day 52 Emu

I had to laugh when I titled this Day 52 Emu... just cause it rhymes a bit. I mu Emu we all mu.

I have no story about an Emu. I really just loved this face. They do look a bit like an Ostrich. The Emu is from another country that I have unfortunately never been too.

I know they were in Africa but I don't recall ever having any chance to see any up close. We did however have an Ostrich egg lamp. I am suspecting that my mother bought it at the market where she really wasn't supposed to go shopping. My mother had a very adventurous spirit. She was either very fearless or naive to the dangers she could encounter. I don't think that she ever felt that any person was unapproachable if she just had the right words or a big enough smile. Her favorite thing to do was take us down a road we'd never been. Often we were traveling by car to some destination. I think I inherited my mothers sense of time which means we both didn't have a very good one. If we were on a vacation driving and she was the driver it didn't really matter to her how we got there or how long it would take. She always wanted to veer off the highways and onto back roads. The scary sentence we dreaded was, "lets just see where this goes." Off we would go and sometimes we could end up on a road that wasn't really even a road, but someones driveway. All her passengers/children were usually URGING her to stop or turn around because we were sure we were going to be shot by the property owners. Well that never happened but we did often come upon some interesting places. It was this spirit that we objected too that also took us to many wonderful and incredible places. I am approaching the first anniversary of my mother's passing, so I'm grateful really to be doing this processing, this remembering. This REmemoring of my life with her.

If you would love to own this cute face of an EMU .. email me at iwilldream4ever@aol.com. Have a wonderful day and I'll see you tomorrow. :) Oh and this face is sewn wrapping paper and a map and a calendar. The size is about 8 1/2 x 9 and painted with acrylic paint. The map was from South Dakota. That place is another story on another day. haha.

Day 51 and a Baboon

Today I am tired from so much running around. I have so many things I want and need to do but I just don't know if I'll be able to stay awake much longer. I had to forgo putting my day 51 face online this morning so I'm doing it now .. I love how this turned out, and I am excited to put new animal faces online.

This is a baboon. Yes today's story is about several of them. We were on a way to the port of Massawa on the coast of Africa. It was a place where many American's could go, that were living there, to have rest and relaxation. It was a three and a half hour drive and about 300 kilometers. I know it was 300 kilometers because we would count the markers that marked each one. The drive began with a series of switchbacks that lasted about an hour or more... it seemed way too long no matter how many times we'd been down that road. When ever there are children in the car there is bound to be stops that are needed for potty breaks. There was only one place on the way that you could stop and use a restroom facility and I think we were always expected or obligated to purchase the fabulous lemonade that they made fresh. It was exactly half way to the destination. There were many times it wasn't open. Any breaks before or after were a quick stop on the side of the road and out you plopped .. dropped your drawers and hurryup and back inside. One time, well many times it was me that had to do this. This particular time I did my quick squat and as I was pulling my britches up .. I looked up the side of the mountain above me and saw several baboons .. they were in a small group just staring at me. I quickly got in the car and as I sat on the seat by the window I looked again to see a few children sitting up there in a different spot with big smiles .. I think my face was about as red as the bottoms of the baboons. .. I am pretty sure I made a point of looking first after that. Never got too close to the baboons like in this painting but they sure are interesting creatures. This one has particularly beautiful eyes.

Now .. i can relax and settle into a restful evening. If you would like to own this interesting baboon email me at iwilldream4ever@aol.com. It's painted on a file divider, no extra charge for the tab.. it is about 101/2 x 12 if you include the tabs sticking out. It has an airmail posted envelope and a map glued to the front with clear acrylic medium and it is painted in acrylic. See you tomorrow.  

Day 49 Childhood Escapades

Day forty nine and today's portrait is painted on a thick paper board that I have glued tissue paper and an airmail letter from friends to my parents. This is postmarked Australia. One place in the world that I would love to go but have never been.

We traveled quite a lot when we lived in Africa because we would always go stateside every summer while living there. My parents were always taking us to a variety of destinations on the way there and on the way back. Over time they developed friendships with people that lived in some of those places. Today the story is about what happened one day when we went to visit friends in Italy. I think it was Rome. I don't know who it was that we were visiting but it was a second or third floor apartment. This was one of those times that we were all dressed up and visiting a family that had children. None of the required quiet and stillness was necessary for this visit. We were instructed to go play while my parents visited with the parents of our new friends. They spoke English well enough to tell us after a warming up period that we should play hide and seek. There were probably about five or six children scurrying around this unfamiliar place to find a place to hide. I didn't always like to play this and my sense of urgency to hide and need for bodily functions had me headed to the closest bathroom. I went inside and quickly turned the lock. The lock was not any ordinary lock, it was a dial that when turned slid a piece of metal from one side into a piece of bracketed metal. It was a tight fit. The entire mechanism was on the inside of the door. So i was able to see the metal move into the bracket and off I went to the use the facilities. I couldn't really tell who was still hiding or not .. so after washing my hands and having a look around an Italian home bathroom I decided to sneak out and see where everyone was. I went over to this interesting lock and yes .. I tried turning the dial the other way. My young hands and fingers just couldn't make that dial turn back not even with two little hands grasping it for dear life. I was beginning to feel just a bit worried that I might not be able to get out. I felt pretty silly and finally after trying for a several minutes I don't remember if I hollered out or if my parents came looking for me and discovered my plight. No matter, because I do recall my father trying to talk me through all the attempts that I tried to turn the dial again and again. This was embarrassing because no matter how many times I tried, I couldn't budge the heavy metal plate that was securing that door. So after much discussion on the other side by the adults. My father told me to get into the tub. I couldn't imagine why I should do such an odd thing. He told me to put my head down and told me that he was going to knock the door down. I was of course scared that I was going to be in big trouble. I had closed the shower curtain and laid in the tub while the wild knocking and busting down of the door commenced. It was pretty quick that the door was flung open and the pieces went flying about and everyone came over to the tub to see if I was ok. I felt horrible. It really wasn't something that you could scold me to badly over. I can't imagine they would tell me to "never lock the door when you go into a persons bathroom". "You should know better than to lock a door when you go to the bathroom." None of those scoldings would have fit. They just made heavy apologies to their friends and we left. It was scary and just one of many of my childhood escapades.

If you would like to own today's portrait which is day #49 and therefore $49. Please email me at iwilldream4ever@aol.com. Today I was up early and I am going to have some fun today. I will however most likely lock whatever restroom I enter. haha .. See you tomorrow.

Day 47 of 100 faces in 100 days

Day 47

And so it continues. Some day's I just get lost in the portrait. .. this is a dark face......the eyes are staring into space it seems ..

This is the only thing this makes me think of.

I had a teacher once .. probably one of the only really hard stories I recall while living in Africa. But she was my first grade teacher. First grade where your supposed to love school. Love learning. I was a busy talkative girl. Probably loved painting and drawing even then.. I had to stand in line to go out of the room we were in. I guess I was talking too much. I'm quite certain I was happy to be there and most likely chatting with a girl nearby but I don't recall. What I do however remember is out of nowhere I felt this burning sting on the back of my right calf.  My leg was bare under the dress I was wearing and I screamed out at this sting and quickly I looked at this spot on my leg to see a long red mark on the back of my leg. Standing over me was my first grade teacher, Mrs. H .. i'll refrain from saying her real name. She was looking at me with a face of disdain and told me I should remember to be quite when I was standing in line. The tears welled up in my eyes and I tried to look straight ahead and quite my desire to start sobbing. The only other thing I can remember about this woman was that when it was time for us to paint fingernail polish on empty plastic bleach containers I spilled my polish and got into trouble again. I don't remember second and third grade at all. I have no recollection of who the teachers were or what I did. Always interesting to note I find .. So .. this face is a comtemplation. And a reminder that old stings linger still .... best to use less harshness with children I'm thinking. Best to show kindness and love rather then harsh words and violent use of punishment to make a point. So .. i realize no one may want to own the back story on this painting but .. it is what it is. You probably don't read these anyway. I guess it just helps me get through the process some days. It's all good .

If you want to own this portrait email me at iwilldream4ever@aol.com. This portrait is $47. It is painted on a file folder with a piece of tissue paper from the wrapping paper bin and an old letter I wrote to my parents when they were away. See you tomorrow..

Day 46 and just an impression

Guess it's just one of those days.

It's day 46 and if only I could stay out of my head. Some day's I feel invisible and some day's it's just good to be invisible. I wonder if anyone would even notice. I wonder how many people feel that way? I never know who reads except for those that tell me.

I have been writing to Josephine of the Childug.org in Uganda. She tells me that she reads the blog stories to the children there. She tells me that the children have decided to start painting each other's faces. I don't think I could express the feeling that I get just knowing that.

I feel somehow that I get so caught up in my thoughts that I forget that the children are hearing my words as Josephine reads them out loud.

So to the children ..I see you. I think about you and I hope good things for your lives. Keep painting, I hope that you get many supplies so that you can paint and paint to find some joy in your life so far away. I pray for your happiness and I hope that you will all be able to go to school. I wish these same good things for my own children and my six grandchildren. I am working on a way to bring attention to your needs there. There are so many people in the world that need help. So .. I will make a donation to your organization there .. to Josephine to do as she wishes for the children for any painting that I sell from here on out. I hope that it will help you. That means that some portion of each painting sold will go to you and some will go to me so that I can keep painting.

Please know that I do care for you .. and I see you.

Day forty six and if you would like to own this face and help to provide something good for the children of Childug.org email me at iwilldream4ever@aol.com. This is a face painted on sewn papers that my mother saved through out her life and now I am using them as a canvas. Today's portrait is $46. Check out the the organization and see the children. Have a great day! See you tomorrow.

Day 45 and rainy day Sundays..

Today is day fourty five, I'm tired. I've been house and dog sitting all week and last night I stayed up to see my sister and her husband arrive home in the wee hours. I love my sister. Consequently, today I need a nap and so when I'm tired.. things just sort of creep into my head .. it's raining so my thoughts are dripping with stories from long ago.. and i feel sadness. Today I miss my mother.

I remember that when I was younger I didn't seem to know to keep my hair brushed. I liked it long and still have it long today. I got tangles a lot. I think we had a terrible bout of the Hong Kong flu and my bed head equaled nappy tangled hair. On this day I'm thinking of the weather was nice and the sun was out. My mother got a brush and some combs and decided to tackle the task of untangling the jungle on top my head. She told us to come with her outside and we sat on the steps off the kitchen outside in the sun. I know that there were times when the comb hurt my head or she pulled just a little too hard but I don't remember that so much, but I do remember the sun shining on my shoulders and feeling the warmth of the sun. It felt good kind of like a bath of light. The sun just seemed to kill any bad sickness that was left from the flu. I remember how good the comb felt on my scalp. I think the tangle removal took hours and the massage from the combing and even just the feeling of having my hair touched was soothing and loving.  It's a pleasant sleepy time, rainy day, memory and I think I fell asleep a few times just typing this out ..haha so I got a nap and I am grateful for the memory...

If you would like this portrait today that is painted on pages from a book of my mom's and two airline tickets that she kept and I sewed together, just email me at iwilldream4ever@aol.com and you can have her for just $45. This is about 8 x 10 inches. I should call this luscious lips .. lol .. i do love the lips lol. Have a sleepy time love feeling day ... see you tomorrow.

Day 42 And riding horses.

Today is day forty two and I am grateful to be painting and sewing together a portrait. Kind of like stitching a new way for my self. Or putting all the pieces together.

I don't always notice how I think of the stories I wish to tell .. it's probably the influence of things I read or see or hear.. I guess that's what most people do.

Either way it matters not .. these eyes and this face reminds me of a memory of riding horses.

While living in Africa,  I remember taking riding lessons. I think this was one of my favorite things about living there. We lived a few blocks away from a horse stable, where my mom would often take us to go riding. I don't recall my sister coming, but my brother and my mom would usually go with me. I would always ask to ride Shambell. She was a big black stallion. I loved her. My brother would ride Knockifa I have to say that their names may not have been spelled this way. But I write them today in the way that I remember them. We would also go riding with a guide. The stables were crudely built but the horses seemed well taken care of. We would ride for an hour, traversing around the beautiful countryside. We could run and jump streams or sticks. It was so much fun. Every single birthday from that time on I would have the cake placed in front of me with the instructions to blow out the candles and make a wish and a horse was always my wish. Until I grew out of making wishes. I loved the horses. I loved their big soulful eyes. I loved how it felt to ride and glide along in rythym with the horses movements and it was magical. I knew the horses saw me and understood me. I just knew. I had many happy rides on Shambell. I know that wishes can come true at any time in life. I don't want a horse anymore. I lost interest when trying to horseback ride in the states. I never found another place that let you ride the way we did in Africa.I recall telling my father recently that I wished for a horse when I was a child. He said he was glad he didn't know. I know that horses are expensive to take care of. Its ok. I still have my memories. I hope that I don't forget them. I hope I don't ever forget .. and I am grateful to remember. That is this face ..thinking of horses.

If you would love to have this face email me at iwilldream4ever@aol.com. See you tomorrow.

Day 40 and Jim

This portrait is day 40 almost half way.!!! Woo hoo.. I love that I am letting myself create as I can and let it be what it is .. That part is always a challenge.

Practicing is always impactful I get excited just thinking about continuing with the practice of daily painting.

Today's face reminds me of a friend of mine that I never met. Someone who's name was Jim. Someone who reached out to me when my life was a fast moving train headed for a jumbled up mess of a derailment. He was the steady voice of reason when nothing made sense in my life. He would always tell me that I could not see in other's what wasn't in me. It's kind of like the opposite of another statement that I have also heard before. Which is if you see it (typically a character defect) then you own it. When you are mad at someone's behavior that you see it is because you see the reflection of yourself in that person. The same can be true about love. I don't know if these things are the absolute truth or not. But I can tell you a story about meeting a man that I never met in person, and how it impacted my life.

Last night I saw a question on a social media site by a new mom asking her contacts or friend's to tell their experience with raising children. Her question made me think of Jim. I remember while in an emotionally painful time in my life I was floundering in a sea of negative fearful perceptions. My trust recently shattered like a mirror dropped on marble floor. I feel fortunate that there were a few people then that offered me compassion and time when I needed it most. Cut to the core, I could only seek out this man and tell him my story with fear and in a hurry. What happened really isn't important at this point because don't we all have some kind of story of our own? What is important is that he spent time listening to my story. He heard all my pain, all my hurt, all my experience with those and never left. He always heard everything I had to say. I had a LOT to say. He knew that I had a mountain of hurt. I would talk and talk and talk and as an hour would pass he would thoughtfully drop hints that he needed to get a drink of water soon .. or say . going to have to go soon. I talked until I was exhausted.. when it came time for him to go .. I would ask if he would be back tomorrow? He said he would, I asked if he was going to leave now. ? He said I will sign off when you sign off. This is the clue about where I met him. Yes he was online. He would always wait till I left. He never left first. In my hurt I never saw his thoughtfulness or consideration but gradually I was able to trust him. So you could say that I came to him with a huge cavern in my heart and unable to trust anything. He did so much just to listen. Finally, I didn't worry that he might not come back .. i trusted that he would listen and I slowly began to believe this idea that I couldn't see anything in other people that was not in me. I began to feel gratitude for his time and for his consistent compassionate voice. His way was unlike any other person I had ever known. He was always appropriate and kind. Finally, I could express my gratitude to him often. I felt after a long time that he always had kindness and care and truly had my best interest at heart. I felt that I could tell this man, who I never met that I loved him. No one else did what he could do.. at a time when I desperately needed it. I had big love in my heart for his kindness .. i could feel this love in my body, like feeling a pillow on my chest .. like a hug from a loving person. I told him that I loved him. And he said to me .. you love the reflection of yourself that you see in me. Remember, you cannot see in other's what is not inside of you. It seems strange to say this but I felt an amazing thing happen at that moment. I felt for just a moment that I could feel this big love for my self. It was a wonderously fabulous feeling. I felt as though so much came together at that time. I could see the breaking of long held views against ideas of loving yourself as if to love yourself would mean you were vain or selfish. That to love your self somehow meant you were conceited or loved to look in a mirror. But it was none of those things. It was believing that there was something inherently good and loveable about my self. That I had some value that was worth spending time with, or working hard for. I was worth believing in. Now if you ask yourself if you love yourself and your first thought is that it feels strange or uncomfortable try to see the goodness in other's. Think of the one person you love the most and why, and imagine that those qualities are in yourself. I think this is what the verse in the bible means when it that says for us to love our neighbors as our selves. This is the kind of love you want to have or you cannot love other's. Makes sense to me that if you do not like yourself you are likely to feel the same about other's. So .. this face today may seem intense in some ways.. that's what Jim was like for me. An intense lesson in how to love yourself and the importance of it. It's good to have a reminder of it. When you love yourself you can love others. You can have compassion for people when they are angry because they are just showing you how they feel about themselves. You can respond with compassion to them. So the question from the young mother.. about the best experiences of parenting a child made me want to tell her to teach her children to love them selves. This is to me the most important thing to teach them. The rest will unfold in its own way.

Thank you for following my journey and for reading if you do .. or even just looking at my portraits. I do so appreciate it. If you would like to own today's portrait I am calling Jim. Please email me at iwilldream4ever@aol.com. It's $40 today. Thank you .. see you tomorrow.

Day 39

Today is day thirty nine .. meaning there are sixty one day's to go. I can hardly believe it.. Today I got started back to the earlier time.

Interesting to note that I can't think with noise.

I am house and dog sitting. Which requires me to relocate my paints and routine to continue what I am doing. A challenge but a few perks as well. A pool to swim in during the noon day sun. Always pleasant. Nice to see if I can manage the changes and still honor the commitment. So far so good.

But I am off here today ... i suppose this will become like a road map of my time.

Every day isn't a story of the past ..

Some days are just stories of the present.

With gratitude in the eyes.. inspite of life, I am in gratitude. There is still something to look forward too.

If you would like to have today's portrait. IT's day #39 and $39. Email me at iwilldream4ever@aol.com. I have to say that the photo's of these portraits really do not give them justice. The excitement for me is in the details. Which reminds me .. last night while Skyping with my son and to wish my grandson a happy birthday, the eldest grandson who is six had an opinion of the face I painted yesterday. My son laughed and I laughed. HE told me that yesterday's face was creepy and detailed. I love it... see you tomorrow.

The Orphanage and Day 26 of 100 faces in 100 days

Today this face strikes my mood. Not sure I can explain it so I'll just tell a story.

While living in Africa we were near an American military installation where we attended school, and church and were able to eat in the Officer's club as well as use the post commissary and the px where we were able to buy clothing, shoes and things you might need for your home. We were not military but my father worked for them. So they gave us those privileges which I'm sure my parents were grateful for.

My mother had more free time to make friends here than in the US and she always got involved. I'm not sure how or why but she was always included in the Officer's Wives club functions.  As an organization they decided one Christmas to help some children in the city we were living in. Now mind you all the things that I share about this are from the perspective of a nine or ten year old girl. So all of my facts are what I assume was going .. and in my mind that is the only reality I have of what was happening.

I can't say how or why I was asked by my mother to go with her but I had to put on a dress and my mother said I was going to help her. They were going to take Christmas gifts to the children in a nearby orphanage. I was happy to go and help my mother and just to be with her, I don't recall my brother or sister being there. We drove into a compound where there is a large building with many steps leading up to a room that looked like a standard school cafeteria. There were tables lined up and the ladies were busy bringing in boxes of wrapped gifts to give away. They brought cookies and fudge and candies and all the things you'd probably find on a Christmas dessert table along with a few decorations for the table.  The ladies had obviously done some planning. How they determined what they would give the children, most likely had to do with the age and gender of the child. I was excited to see what the gifts were because I did not know what they were. All the children came into the hall. There seemed to be a hundred children of every age and you could see their shy approach and then the smiles and giggles as they approached the tables with all of the beautifully wrapped presents. I guess they managed to communicate which gifts went to which child. Then there was a flurry of unwrapping and paper being tossed aside by the younger children and carefully removed by the older ones to reveal the treasures inside. They were so excited to see what was there.. as was I. Watching all of this happening in front of me I could see that the older children all had pen and pencil sets and the younger children had bean bags. I thought bean bags? Why on earth would you give a child a bean bag? What could they possibly do with a bean bag? But after opening them they seemed to like the sound of the beans inside each handmade fabric bag. They were made of simple but pretty fabrics and they started to throw them in the air.  They appeared to be overjoyed and I really could not believe that they would be so happy about something so plain and simple. As an adult I could say that perhaps they were asked to be grateful or that it meant something to them that I could not possibly understand. And truthfully I could not possibly understand what it could have been like to be living with hundreds of other children in a building without my parents. Regardless of the reason I was there and the children in that orphanage were there, I would take away something I have never forgotten. There is much joy in simple things, in kind gestures and being grateful even for a bean bag. I do remember how happy they seemed. There was no way that I could be there and watch this and be anything but happy too. I was happy they were happy. I left wanting to be with happy people. There was a skip in my step. I am grateful to have that picture in the album of my memories. It has been difficult at times for me to be happy or imagine being happy more than other emotions. Telling this story brings me back there, where joy from simple things can make my heart happy. I think it is right where I need to be today. To be brought back to happy.

It was in that spirit and part of why I did yesterday's portrait. So .. today .. i guess I was contemplative and now I am grateful.

Today's painting is poignantly painted on one of my mother's received Christmas cards and some wrapping paper from her stash. It's done in acrylic and is approximately 8x10. The price of today's painting is $26 so thank you for following along. Please come again and if you have a mind to have this painting on your wall email me at iwilldream4ever@aol.com. And I could always use the encouragement to keep going.. I appreciate any and all comments. Have a fantastic day. Ciao

Twenty Days of Painting Faces of 100 that will be painted.

I can't believe it's been twenty days of painting every day. Doesn't it say somewhere that twenty one days of doing something it becomes a habit? No temptation to quite so this is good but I have eighty more days to go. So far a good learning experience for me and I hope that it is something that people enjoy following along. I know from past experience that repetition of something can create some kind of magic. I have had this happen atleast once in artistic endeavors. Maybe more if I think about it. I also become aware of a perfectionistic side of myself. I try to let go of that.
On to the face. I didnt' go anywhere yesterday so I had no meeting of strangers that I could photograph but I have been wanting to move away from magazines and even my purist artistic self feels that drawing/painting from a live model is a more ideal method of expressing a human form. There is a part of me, perhaps a teacher from the past that says .. painting from a photo is cheating. So i'm a cheater. I think it is perhaps because a photo flattens out the lights and darks and you can clearly see where they are. It doesn't always mean you can paint it that way and not everyone wants realism, I have done both realism and a kind of stylized face or even some pretend faces. I am not giving myself any rules so anything is open. This is a young person that is friends with one of my children. It's an old photo in my collection. I don't have the sense of youth that her photo conveys. But I do feel her presence in it. She was an age that wanted to appear older than she was.  I don't wish to say who she is or much else except to say that she was always a fun loving young person when she was around. So in my mind I will think of her today and wish wellness and good things for her. As always thanks for following my journey and please do stop and leave me a note. I've decided to add my email here so you can email if you are interested in purchasing. My email is iwilldream4ever@aol.com yep .. I will dream for ever.. i know it's aol ..but I've had it for a long time. Just can't let it go. So email me if you want to purchase this or just make a comment if your too shy to post one. The size is about the same 8"x10" approx. and painted on sewn wrapping paper that was my moms (who saved every THING) and painted in acrylic. Have a fantastic day!!!

Day 14 of 100 Faces in 100 days

I just have to say .. that I am so happy to have started this and i do sort of giggle about getting up in the morning so i can paint. But I also have to say that I am not oblivious to the world although I don't choose to watch television unless I decide to watch an occasional movie. I have seen so much conversation about what's happening in the world that I feel this tug that somehow it's wrong to have joy in this midst of all the crisis.

When I am able to fill my heart with gladness I have so much more to give. I am in my head so much sometimes that spending this time perfecting a painting is a release from that. All my thoughts are on the painting. I put all my focus on creating and just letting it happen till I feel it is done. Sometimes I just have to let it be. Progress not perfection. If i am happy then .....I'm Happy!!! A dear person in my life told me that I could be happy every day. Then I think ... how is that possible? It seems that when I feel happier......I get happier haha. The opposite is also true. When I leave my house today, my smile will be there and hopefully my smile will make you smile and things will be better. Not perfect just better .. for a minute or for longer.

Today I love the texture of the paper and the sewing .............texture makes happy lol .. Thanks for stopping over and todays painting on my moms old wrapping paper and a piece of mail is sewn together and painted in acrylic. The size is 81/2" x 9 1/2". The price is the number of the day so this one is $14. Message me or email me an whoever sends me a note first will be the new owner of today's happiness. :) haha. Have a fabulous day and I hope you smile at someone.  Thank you for stopping over. I do love to hear your comments.

Day 13 of 100 Faces in 100 days

My lucky number .. 13. I was born on Friday the 13th. So growing up I always heard that it was a bad luck day but I always also thought how could it be a bad day if I was born? SO ...i reclaimed it as a lucky day. I do know that my mother was happy to give birth to me that day and told me many times that this was the day ......let's get on with it. I was her second baby. I am now the middle child ... haha .. first girl second baby. I bet you'll figure it out.

Growing up we lived in Africa. Back then my grandmother asked my mom how she could take her grandbabies to the dark continent. That's what she called it. Every summer when we were not in school we went back to the US. I think my artistic interests were sparked then. My mom and dad used to plan our trips to the states so we got to see Europe. My mother made sure we went to every museum and art gallery that we could go too while we were in a new place. I always enjoyed this. So early in my life I was drawing faces. I remember one summer we didn't leave to go stateside as soon as school let out. So I think we did some kind of summer camp there in Ethiopia. We were at a small military installation there and it is now Eritrea. I recall drawing faces and girls in particular. Other little girls would come over and ask me to draw their girls hair.. they'd drawn the face but couldn't figure out how to put hair on the girl. I laugh when i think of this .. it is a fond memory for some reason because it was the first time that I felt like I was doing something I liked. And people wanted me to help them. It was a good feeling to be able to do this for them. I was proud. Some where in there I kept going with the art and I perfected coloring when a neighbor girl that was older showed me how to make the coloring look pretty. Then since we were a small American school in a foreign country there were probably less than thirty students in each grade. I think it was my fifth grade teacher that was an art teacher who taught us all the subjects. He was a bit wild but he always inserted a lot of art in his teaching. I even remember painting a vase on some Ethiopian newspaper. It was the first time I had worked on shading. So many experiences that have influenced me in my artistic endeavors. I am grateful. And glad that I have taken this leap of faith in doing a daily painting. I was up early this morning excited to get started. This is a very good thing. Thanks for taking a minute to read and check out my work. Today's painting is a lucky $13. Message me if you are interested. I will go by the time on the requests to see who will be the lucky purchaser. I am filled with gratitude. My joy is abounding. May your day be filled with boundless joy as well. :)