I'm still around............

So it's been a while and I have continued to deviate from the abstract paintings. This is a bit abstract.

I enjoyed how this came together and it was after a bit of contemplation and frustration about what's next for me. I am repurposing found art here in the same way that I am attempting to repurpose my life. I make something beautiful or something that is visually satisfying to me from discarded items .. not trash necessarily, but from items that would probably not be put to any good use. Putting myself back together from the shards of what was or what could't be or what I wanted or wished or grieved or cried or wasn't. Going back to reclaim those things I need or never knew or thought I ever had. Seems apropos to write that the title of this piece is called "Finding Her".

It's difficult at times and now I'm even experiencing the physical manifestations of my fears or frustrations surrounding it. Sciatica .. aaaaaaaacccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. Even the sound of that word sounds sinister and wrong or negative. Perhaps its the seat of all my worries, fears and frustrations. It's a big ball of pain. It can be a relentlessly torturous kind of pain that no position of laying, sitting, standing or walking seems to relieve. I am grateful for the times that can get into a position of no pain. I worry that I will have this as I grow much older and more feeble I'm not sure I could withstand the effort to continue. I feel like I'm in a race against time to be more fit so I won't have this later. I hope I'll be able to keep creating in spite of it. Maybe it will show up as it has in the past .... in my work.

Thanks for stopping over ....as always love to hear your comments even if you may have stopped looking. I haven't been as good lately in posting. I'm still here. Ciao

Day 77 and Good Grief

Day 77 and I titled this post good grief because I know that grieving is a process and when you can do it, it's good. But sometimes it just seems to hit you and kick you in the butt. Right now we're in the end stages of closing up the old house that my parents lived in for the last twenty five years or so...it's difficult. Now there is every nook and cranny that has to be cleared out in the house .. NOTHING can be left there and so the reality of it hits hard and all the stuff has to be sold or moved or thrown away .. etc. And there is this sense of anxiety .. should I keep this ? How do I feel about this?

I will be glad when this is over...

It's just difficult.

The face today is a pouty sort of face .. that is how I feel .. sad and pouty. It will get better .. I will survive this load of grief and sadness ...




Send me an email if you would like to own this portrait which is painting on rusted fabric and has stitching on it. Iwilldream4ever@aol.com. See you tomorrow.

Day 76 Still having fun

Today is day seventy six and I just don't feel like thinking about anything really. Yesterday was a strange and stressful day and the best part of it was creating the portrait on the rusted denim and sitting there just mindlessly stitching away .. I do love the practice of stitching and as many of my stitching acquaintances and friends will tell you they find it addicting also.. so I am really enjoying the stitching aspect or adding it to the portraits. It really just reminds me of another project I hope to start after I finish this one. I have too many things that I want to do .. 

So what happened yesterday? My dad likes to mow my lawn, I offer to do it but he has to bring the mower here because I don't have one. Since he's here he likes to mow it. Yesterday was the mowing day and he was bringing me a piece of furniture from my mom and dad's room from the old house .. we left the mower in the front yard because that piece still needed mowing, we went move the furniture, which took about ten minutes. He left the mower by the sidewalk. I noticed dad was a bit winded from moving and removing furniture and so I offered to mow that little piece and he said OK !!! so I went to do it and there was no mower .. someone had carted it off. I noticed that the neighbor was sitting in the front yard across the street and I said did you see someone take the mower? She said "Yes" I said "why didn't you say anything? " she said "i didn't know that he wasn't supposed to take it, I thought it was trash" .. I apologized and told her it wasn't her fault and asked her what the vehicle looked like and she described it and then I looked down the street to the left and saw a vehicle like it driving away from us and asked her if that was it? She said yes that's it.. so yep .. i ran into my house and got my phone and gave chase to this van and I saw it and it turned at a light and then the light turned red .. by the time the light was green .. it was gone .. no where to be seen. I had called the police while I was in the car and told them I would just meet the police back at the house.. and my dad left. HE was not happy but he blamed himself for this ... the mower was still hot. It was not by the curb it was by the sidewalk. I guess if you want to get rid of anything at all just set it outside .. people will take it without even asking for sure if you wanted to get rid of it. The good news is that someone spotted the van later in the day and gave me the license plate .. still haven't heard anything yet. The officer said he would call me either way. Who knows .. so that's the story .. in my everyday life.. what a day. 

If you would like to own today's portrait just email me at iwilldream4ever@aol.com it is the price of the day. This one is about 71/2 x 10. See you tomorrow .. 

Day 75 Mending my heart with Stitches and Tears.

Today is day 75 and woohoooo .. it's not midnight and I'm still tired but .. it's not a torturous attempt to get the portrait done before the clock strikes twelve and I turn into a pumpkin again....

I have done stitching on faces before but I really want to try to combine two things here .. actually three. This is rusted denim that I have painted a portrait on and then I have stitched threads in sashiko style stitching. I really love how this looks .. and so this marks my three fourths of the way through. I have only twenty five days left to paint portraits. It's amazing really that I have gone so far .. and I have learned so much.

A note to my self..... I see you.... .. I hear your heart and I know that you are having a hard time saying goodbye to things.. that held the happiness and love of a mother .. the things that she surrounded herself with to make her happy.

What I notice is that my dad has built a new house with no sign of my mother. His words are there is nothing feminine. He misses my mother, he feels strange in the new house, there is something missing... no longer the touch of his wife. No longer the things surrounding them that she loved. Her energy is not there.. he misses the familiarity of his old home. The sunshine on the river water .. even though he didn't sit and gaze at it.. it was always out the window. I notice that it is never expected all these feelings that he struggles with. He didn't think this would happen. He thought it would make it easier..but he doesn't feel her presence in the new place .. not that things embodied her but that you saw her in the color of the pillows.. you saw her in the arrangement of the art. You saw her in the flower's that sat in every corner,  on tables and over doors and windows.. all of that is gone. I don't think we think about that.. I really don't know for sure what causes these attachments to things that I struggle with my self. We are selling a lot of things .. and I have a looming sense of fear that something will go away that I should have taken .. or that I should not sell.? Where does this come from? I don't know .. it's holding on .. .it's pain. All I can do is cry .. they are just things. They are just things ... I know she is in my heart.. Perhaps that's the mending in this portrait.. Mending my heart with stitches and tears.

I may not part with this portrait either .. but if you would love to own this one send me an email at iwilldream4ever@aol.com. Thanks for stopping over and I'll see you tomorrow.

Day 74 and I'm tired.

Today is day 74 .. and here it is again after midnight .. i'm tired.

This portrait is painted on a piece of rusted and walnut dyed fabric. I am doing a class with Katrina Rodabaugh called Slow Fashion Style. This portrait is stitched onto a piece of rust dyed fabric as a way of combining my love of portraits and stitching. :) I have acquired all of my mom's fabric .. there is a lot. Right now we are doing a garage sale at my mom's house .. while my dad is starting to down size after moving to a new house. I want to keep everything .. I can't keep everything but I still want too .. this is a struggle .

This portrait is about 9 x 11 and .. will have more stitching then what is here .. if you would like to own this portrait just email me at iwilldream4ever@aol.com.

Have a good day .. again I struggle .. but it will get better soon.. See you tomorrow..

The Uganda Project and Day 25 of 100 faces painted in 100 days.

Today's face is very special. I reverted back to the rusted cloth because I wanted to mix things up a bit for today. And it's sort of a celebration that I have made it this far and still going!!! I am pleased that this portrait looks like a child. I don't think that it's easy to paint a child's face. This isn't just any face she is one of Josephine's children. A child that has for some unfortunate reason needed her services, her protection or her help.

Ok .. several days ago I was looking at some of the blogs that I follow and happened on one that asked me to go to another blog for a special announcement. It was Victoria's  I read the entire post and found myself moved by this woman's effort to help some children. Actually there are two women, Victoria and Josephine. And then when you go on to read the comments there are even many more women. And I think isn't the internet a wonderful thing. Imagine how the ALS group has gone so wild with this ice bucket challenge and raised over one hundred million dollars for their organization. There are so many wonderful things that can happen.

There are multiple reasons why this resonated with me so much but the main reason was because the children are living in Africa. Uganda is south west of where I lived as a child. I lived in Ethiopia but it is now Eritrea. They are almost neighbors.

The other reason is that the children learn knitting as part of their therapy and they sell their knitting and other crafts that they make to raise the funds to be able to go to school and take them away from an environment of abuse. There is poverty. I do believe that helping these children is a good thing. So I had an idea to help in a way that uses my talents to benefit others in a real and tangible way. And to bring awareness to what is going on at Childug.org.  Since today I am one quarter away from painting faces for a hundred days I thought I would celebrate with this. Today's portrait is going to be an auction of sorts. If you will go to the link below and read on  Victoria's blog you will find her paypal account, you can make a donation  and leave me a comment to indicate the amount of your donation and I will send this beautiful painting to the person who donated the most. Ok I was going to announce this at 8. At 9 I got an email and one person made a donation and since they were the only one on this day. I will send it to her. I hope you will still make a donation, even a dollar will help them. I will do another face fundraiser for them during my 100 days of faces.

So message me at my email address iwilldream4ever@aol.com if have any questions or leave me a comment or if you need help with this in any way or if you would like Josephine's email address. Or go to the links I've provided in this post to read Victoria's message and find out more about what she's done so far. And at the very least I will urge you to consider doing something to use your talents or financial resources to help these children or spread the word to your friends and family. I know my post is going long but I wanted to end this post with two quotes that I found on another blog that I follow Peggy. I felt they were fitting quotes.

 "There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action; and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. If you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. You must keep that channel open. It is not for you to determine how good it is, nor how valuable. Nor how it compares with other expressions. it is for you to keep it yours, clearly and directly." Martha Graham 

“You are worthy of love and you deserve to be happy. You have these beautiful qualities and many more because you are living the gift of a human incarnation. My hope is that you will embrace these truths and your birthright to live a life abundant in love, joy, and celebration.”~ David Simon 

Day 11 hmmmmmm

I have to keep reminding myself that everything is ok. Even mistakes or works I wish were better. Maybe that mind set or fear of not being good enough interferes i don't know. Maybe they don't get better and better.. i sense that pressure that they should be.

I get tired of hearing my thoughts haha. Maybe you do too if your reading my posts.

I may have to mix it up a bit to keep myself motivated to keep painting.

Maybe some days it's best to just make less words.

Either way it's REALLY all Good.. I just love that so far .. yes only day 11 but i'm still doing it. Someone emailed me and said they would be bored doing the same thing every day for 100 days but I assure you I am not just painting. Maybe I can post some in between posts of what I sandwich in between these portraits.

I've been volunteering at a lady's church bazaar too .. painting silly images and stitching things like purses and bracelets. I enjoy that experience. I've even been knitting and crocheting .. :) Thanks for stopping over. Blessings to you. Oh and just a reminder today's portrait is for sale .. acrylic on rusted fabric .. this one has a few holes in it so those are no extra .. i usually say they are extra. haha .. about 7" x 11" . let me know if your interested. :) The price is the day number.

Day 10 and still going

Day 10 and the temptation is to judge my work. Or if it isn't just how I wanted it to turn out .. or what i'd wished I done better or whatever, is always in my head. So I am being self critical. There is a saying that I hear from time to time, "f you see it you got it".. or another one that says "you cannot see in other's what is not inside of you". If you see things in others then you have this trait in yourself. I've also heard that if you judge yourself you probably judge others this same way. This pokes me, because I don't wish to be judgmental. Then I can take it one step further .. how I wish to be with people in general is compassionate and loving with kindness in my heart. So I can practice compassion and loving kindness with myself. Today's face feels like a loving smile on my heart. I have to constantly tell myself that it is enough. My heart can be loved ...i am worth loving.

I have to say this sharing like this is a bit like cracking open the door to my closet. haha .. I fear judgement. Either way I am enjoying the process, even though I may proceed with caution. ha  And the most difficult part about today's portrait was the smile ... you have no idea how easily a line can make a smirk or a oddly strange expression. I also know that everyone see's the images with their own filters. Today I see love. And this feels good for me.

Thank you for stopping over. It is for sale so if your interested ..send me a message here or email me or comment on my facebook page, My Art of Hearts. I am trying to add as many likes on that page as I can, so more people will see what I'm doing. The more the merrier right? Have a love filled day!

Day 9 and going with it ..

Well .. today i was rushing .. just being honest. I always want to love every painting like they are something from me that is a creation .. i know it will sound silly but i do get attached to each little one. I want to put my heart and soul into each one .. so today i'm off to have some fun and i could have waited till later .. but i like this morning ritual. Sometimes I just have to remind myself that this is a personal challenge for me .. to keep going, to practice what I do so love every single day.

Tomorrow will be more words. i'm loving this process so far..

This as all the others for sale day number is the price and it is 6" x7" on rusted fabric painted with acrylic paint.

Have a fabulous day!!!

Day 8 of Painting 100 faces in 100 days

Today i am working on lighter rusted fabric.. it's always a challenge to decide how much to finish and how much to leave just the subtly of lights and darks. I have to tell you I have noticed that one thing seems to always get in my head when I am finishing up a painting. these are not lengthy exercises so i just get to a point where I can hear this past professor in college which was not that long ago .. he was teaching me photography and when it came to printing in the darkroom there were always decisions to be made .. he was always willing to give advice as to what it needed .. less exposure more exposure. It was a challenge even to learn the meaning of flat and hot .. in photography. I would go step by step .. tediously adding more dark or more light .. he would remind me that it was better to take bigger steps .. haha .. or we'd be here all day. so i did and over time I knew that flat meant pretty much over all gray no contrast at all .. this is where the words whitest white and blackest black. It doesn't have to be all over .. just somewhere. It gave depth to the photo.. One day when I came to him for the millionth decision of what to do next .. he just looked at me and said your on your own. lol .. finally after looking at many critiques of photos and taking bigger leaps and making sure I had those lights and darks......i got there. And I often say that learning photography changed my whole world completely..i saw the world through the camera and i noticed the light......i suddenly saw the way the light hit the power  lines in the early morning when the dew was still resting there and it glistened. I saw the way that droplets of water reflected the sun on a spider web and looked magical, I saw the power in the suns light as it streamed through the trees like vertical beams and it touched my heart......it spoke my heart..and I ran and got the camera. So i'm grateful for other media and teachers that gave me that ability to see in a new way. His name was Blake. So .. i guess I went down memory lane. I think it's a good thing. Just glad to be doing this everyday. Thanks for stopping over. Oh and yes today's painting, $8. Message me or leave me a comment. Have a light filled day, and maybe notice where it hits. :)

7th Day of 100 faces in 100 days

Well looking back on yesterday given the situation the day before that .. i guess i was really just completely saddened by everything........and it's just a horrible feeling to feel powerless. So the weight on my heart was heavy yesterday ...i felt as though i was feeling some of the collective sadness in the world...nearly overwhelming. I suppose its a lesson in taking better care during those times. Perhaps some meditation in the garden would have been good. A long chat with my neighbor was welcome relief. So i see that in today's portrait there seems to still be some lingering sadness. Who doesn't have some of that...?
I am still excited about pushing myself to do this..i know it can and already has had an effect that is positive and good so far and we are only on day seven.

So .. thanks for the friends that poked me yesterday when i was really feeling down and made me laugh or just get by.

I have lots of good ideas percolating in my brain. And I look forward to the mornings of painting.  And these as always are for sale .. days are the price so today's face is $7. Leave me a comment or email me and it's yours! Thanks for watching. oh and this is 7" x 11" on rusted fabric. :) oh and if you are on facebook .. I'd love it if you would like my page.

Day 5 of 100 Faces in 100 days

This morning a friend called while I was in the middle of painting day 5's painting and asked if i wanted to go somewhere.. i thought .. o.......no .......i have to finish this. I could do it later. No .. got to get this done. Then I hear the pressure in my head that today's painting must be better better better ..than yesterdays. So it's interesting to notice these things. IT's not about being better.. it's about doing another one and getting into the routine of daily painting. Most day's I end up doing alot of other art as well .. so for me it's about Inertia. The definition of which is a resistance to any physical object to change it's state of motion or lack of motion. I want my state to be moving, continuing to paint, create, make. I notice the resistance .......i am enjoying however the process. Mostly having to notice what's in my head which is always processing and thinking. Now .. i'm going to head to the beach and .....walk and enjoy the sand and sun. This is today's painting .. Girl 5. for sale for $5. on rusted fabric about 7 x 10 inches. Thanks for stopping by .. could always use the encouragement. Thanks. :)

Day 4 of my personal challenge to paint 100 faces in 100 days.

So little it seems to say ........i am finding that this challenge is at least giving me something to look forward too every day. I do love painting faces. I do find that i wonder how they stack up, finding i want to be grouped in with other artists or feel as important or as good as or something. I want to be positive and I guess that the painful truth is lately I am so negative ..  so rather than talk about that part. I am really happy with the results so far. I am enjoying the process and what it will teach me. I am excited about the results it will give me and my drawing/painting skills.

Thought i'd just put it out there .. i am thinking i'll just make extra and post more then one time a day .. maybe they don't all have to be painted. I did say 100 faces .. not 100 painted faces. hmmmmmmm

well it is good to just have a record of what I'm doing here. I paint a while and now i'm going to do some stitching . ... stitching feels like melodic therapy to me. I'll post those results if i get any. Thanks for stopping over to read my ramblings.

The face is about 71/2 by 11 and is acrylic paint on rusted fabric. Send me an email if you would like to purchase it. Every day the price will go up a dollar.. the day is the price. I'd love to read your comments. I post these on FB too on my page https://www.facebook.com/MyArtOfHearts?ref_type=bookmark to try to keep myself accountable to my friends.  I'd love it if you would like my page. I seem to need the motivation of saying it out loud to the world to get myself going .. jumping in with faith. Hoping you will notice if something doesn't continue .. hoping you will spur me on. Hoping i won't need it and i'll just do it ........cause i love too. .....:)

Day 3 of 100 faces in 100 days

Well i've been pleasantly surprised at the response to the faces. Hope it keeps up .. it's fun to do ..

I know that this will only be a good experiment because it will give me more experience and it will keep me busy.

Today has gone by too fast and it's a late hour to be adding day 3. I hope to do it sooner every day.

This one is still available. $3

Please share with your friends.

THanks for looking!!!

Day 2 of 100 Painted Faces in 100 days

So here I am on day two, I figure if i keep this up I will just increase my skill for faces. This one seems a bit flat but it's not about perfection for me .. it's an experiment and I think it's going to be a good challenge for me to stay motivated. For sale also .. $2. just message me if your interested.

It's all good. I'm excited just to do it.

Thanks for looking.

100 Faces in 100 days

Ok .. i have been having some rough patches this year and my motivation has been sorely lacking. I have so many varied interests in types of artistic media. I love fabric, I love dying fabric or manipulating it to create weirdness .. i love weirdness. I love the texture of fabric, I love to draw and I love to paint. I love to break the rules.(one's i somewhere learned along the way). I never know for sure where to start where to put all my energy. I love to sew my own clothes. So .. I'm going to try an experiment. I watched a video about an awesome artist that lives in Oregon .. Jolie Guillebeau. on Cory Huff's website Creative Insurgents.  I loved what she had to say about painting after she finished school and wanted to call herself an artist. She decided to paint 100 paintings a day. So that is what i have decided to do also. I posted them first on FB and decided I would go ahead and make myself accountable to everyone here and maybe just maybe i'll be able to get here every day and do the same .. posting every day. To start the challenge off I sat down to paint my one painting and did three.. I will sell each one of these for one dollar for the first day and so on. I am going to go ahead and offer all three at one dollar each. I plan only to do one a day from here on out. I have said I was going to do something or get back to posting more .. for toooooo long and not doing it so .. here goes!!!

Girl 1.

 I intend to be as fair as possible and sell them to whomever contacts me first. I'll try to update in the comments if there is anything available or sold ..

If you would be so kind as to share my posting with your friends if anyone wants to follow along on my experiment. Ask them to follow me here. I would be so grateful or follow my facebook page.

I love faces and so this will be fun. These are painted on rusted fabric and are about 9 inches x 9 inches. Drawn with paint markers and acrylic paint. They can be stitched onto something or just left the way they are .. your choice. They make me happy!!!

Thanks for stopping by and do leave a comment to encourage me to keep going. I need the momentum right now .. thank you so much. I am trying to make myself accountable to do what i love. To live the dream that I want to live. Making art every day and making a living at it. Goodness and love to everyone that passes this way ..

Boy 3.

Girl 2.

Flat Out Under Pressure

A few weeks ago I participated in an event in my hometown called the title of this post. The purpose was to compete with other local artists to win a spot on a trash bin. Doesn't sound to illustrious but if you won one of the top eight spots you won a little cash and the top winner won an all expense paid trip to Tuscany. I thought that alone was worth the try .. cause you just never know. So I did the necessary things to enter and after 24 hours of effort. Oh you had 24 hours to create something and turn it in. Here is what I created. A collage of rusted papers and cloths and my painting and cutting and arranging and it all came together. I was very happy with the results of this work. I didn't win but that's ok because I had a blast creating. I had spent most of the day outside working on this because I just seem to be happier outside and while I was out there something kept buzzing my shoulder and when I looked I noticed it was a dragon fly and this made me very happy so I included him in the painting. If you look closely you'll seem him in there. So overall a good experience and if it happens again next year, I'll try again !!!! Oh and for those of you that have been following me I've just been busy so I haven't posted so much but I'm hoping to pick it up again soon!! ANd more photos to come too. THanks for stopping over and I'd love to hear your thoughts!!!

The Emptiness and Gratitude of Fall

I decided today to post here on my blog since it's been a while. I happened over to Jude Hill's blog Spiritcloth and felt led to add something new. Perhaps no one knows what people think in their heads .. i try to stay out of mine but often there is just too much in there ha ... and it's good (although at times scary) to have a place like this to put them. I still continue to find myself attracted to the little creatures that I run across on the property where I live. With this one there is a little story. I was out walking my dogs one morning and often I am looking where I am going and watching the dogs and just plodding along. This morning I guess I had my head down, it was cold and wind was brisk, my eyes were watering. As I walked a long I noticed this guy walking on the road. A long way away from water. My molly dog is mini dachshund and she is always finding something to get ahold of and for its fate I guess the little crustacean did not get seen by her. I'd say he was and she were lucky to have not run into each other as those pinchers there could really do some damage I'm afraid. So .. we walked past and I steered them clear on the way back home. I decided that this guy was so unusual to me that I would find my camera and go back to take some photos. So as you can see I did make it back and really searched for several minutes to find him. He stopped for a while and let me take some photos and when he realized that I posed no threat to him he continued his valiant effort to go somewhere. I know we have several streams that are nearby but he was far from any body of water. We had a few rainstorms during that previous few days but I didn't think we had any flowing streams by the road that would have somehow pushed him out into the expanse of this land. Nonetheless he was there .. in the middle of the road and i took several photos and just watched him going. I wanted to see where he was going and I knew that there was a stream up ahead. I think it may have taken hours to get there at the rate he was going and as the time passed he squeaked with every step. My lack of patience got the better of me and I decided to help him a long. With a piece of trash and a stick I carefully held him down and carefully walked him to the stream, which I am happy to say he is now in ... unless of course he decided to visit the neighbors up the road. And also you can see that the leaves have all gone now and there is little green left. Even the leaves on the ground have been crunched over and I have to hunt to find a whole leaf. I find myself more lonely with the grayness of these days.. so many gray days strung together, some rain and forced inside where the lights are low and the work is stifled with little room. But this day I was grateful to find this guy. I know he would have made it on his own. I didn't want to risk having a car drive over him. Silly ....i've grown attached to the creatures. More writing below. 

 

 

 

        I couldn't post about a crawdad with out wondering what it's showing up in my life now means. As with all things there is some lesson to learn here. Perhaps this seems odd but I take these events as wonderful gifts from the earth.....it's nice to have a conversation with the earth. I have been busy creating. I did want to also share some of that. I have been enjoying the process of discovery that pushing through things gives me. Here are some things I've been doing. Mind you .. this is just some of it. Thanks as always for stopping over and having a look .. I've got so many more things to say .. it just takes time away from painting and playing and making art. :) Stop by again soon! 

 This is discharged on the back of a garment. On the right is the close up of the eye. I read in Jude's blog today that they are talking about eyes there. I love eyes and always have.

Below is another discharged painting on fabric. Sometimes I wonder if it is a waste to do these since they will continue to eat the fabric.....maybe then I can just look at them as temporary works of art. As you can see .. the eyes just seem to peer through you. Next to that is more discharge just using leaves as a stencil. I love botanical designs.

 Below is rust on colored fabric. I have made several of these that I am going to be using in a few projects. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the color combinations here. Did I tell you that I love these colors together????

More botanical and did you notice that the leaves sort of resemble feathers????  and another painting on fabric. I guess as I continue I care less and less about what someone would think .. and even though you may think that is not something you would do .. meaning that you do care .. i mean this in a way that .. for me .. if I decide that I want to try something I say to myself .. why not? Just do it...who cares? THere is no wrong way really. Who decides what is right. And yes saying that reminds me that there has been much time in my life when I strived to do things, make art, create, do what I want to do but by the rules by what the teacher says to do ... maybe it's taken me all my life to just do what ever I like . ... seems silly but still true.
 and again with the eyes. I love to paint eyes. They seem to say so many things ...they look into your gut with out your even knowing. They see all that is hidden without telling. They say the truth .. and what you see is in you ......

 Another leaf that reminds me of a feather. and below the sunset that I witnessed with that fiery blood red sky ... the furnace of the earth ending another day ....illuminating the sky with brillance. Such a lovely sunset. Such a lovely day. I miss the summer.

Saturday Rays Rust a Rising

Well today finally the weather has warmed a bit and there is some sunshine which I am so grateful for. I am tired of the rainy dreary days as much as we may need the rain. Before the week of raininess I decided to take a cloth that I have worked on for some six months and had pretty much left outside for that entire time. I had tried just leaving this cloth on some rusted metal thinking that it would over time add rust to the cloth with only water or the elements being involved. I would periodically go and check on it and nothing much would happen/change. So I decided to do something in the south we call Hep It. haha .. I decided recently to go ahead and add vinegar to the mix and to wrap it in some plastic so as not to have the moisture evaporate so quickly. I did this before the rain and it's been raining for a little over a week here so thats how long it's been. I have gone out a few times in the dreariness to turn the package over just to let things change up a bit. Today was the unveiling, unwrapping the revealing of the treasure. Thats what it always feels like to me. Ofcourse I was delighted with the results. Rich tones of rusty reddish browns and areas where I have added something to act as a resist and not .. i know that seems obscure but hey .. it's exciting. I took a huge quantity of photos of this cloth and it's not small its about 8 feet x 10 feet. What I am struck by is that several of the photos of portions of the cloth are so interesting to me that they stand on their own as small works. I'm not quite sure what to do with them yet but I'm posting a few of them here to see if any of you lurkers that stop by will have anything to say of them. I love the texture and the effect. I am so amazed and yet reminded yet again how there is so much beauty in this form of degradation. That is what I get out of this. A reminder of words written by a friend that said "break my heart beautiful" and my friend that wrote a book on forgiveness that "nothing is more whole than a broken heart." Which all of this reminds me of.. this isn't broken cloth but it is a breaking down of fibers and an addition of metal that is breaking down infusing itself onto the cloth in a way that I am compelled to look and stair long stairs at. Below are some of the areas that were the most interesting to me of cropped portions of photos of this cloth of rust.