Day 71

“I hope you will go out and let stories, that is life, happen to you, and that you will work with these stories... water them with your blood and tears and your laughter till they bloom, till you yourself burst into bloom.” 
― Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype

This is my offering .. it is where I am today .. I think of this amazing woman when I see a wolf. I dreamed once of three white wolves. I waited all day to paint today.. to much going on .. this one turned out to my satisfaction and I thoroughly enjoyed painting. 

Now i am tired .. 

If you would love to own this beautiful wolf email me at iwilldream4ever@aol.com. I even machine sewed a spiral into the paper.. first time I have done that .. 

See you tomorrow and have a wonderful rest of the day.. :) 

Day 70 and just where I'm at today

Today is day seventy and everything is not always about the past. I am concurrently doing two projects at the moment. My daily painting of which now I am more than two thirds done and I am doing a two week project with Slow Fashion Style with Katrina Rodabaugh and we have a group for this class on facebook that is closed but she is talking about it on her blog. This is a huge amount of fun and I find that I want to chat with everyone only that's probably not possible. I feel like i'm immersed in like minded people, most are women. Then this morning in my usual touring of the web and bloggersphere I found this..by Amy Meissner. She warned people about her story so of course I was more intrigued but then I read the whole post and even watched the video at the end and that just tipped it over the edge for me. What an incredible video and such a smart woman that Amy is. To write so eloquently about a subject that we just don't really ever talk about is brave and fantastic really. One thing that she touched on that resonated with me regarding another project that I have talked about but that is more behind the scenes then I would like it too be and that is Josephine's work at Child in Uganda. She had mentioned that some of the girls will not go to school for the same reasons in Amy's post and also due to no female bathrooms and also not having the funds to go to school. I wish that I could snap my fingers and give her all that she needs for her work there and to help the children grow up and have an opportunity to live a long and happy life. And Amy's post made me realize how I missed out on my own daughter's coming imto womanhood and I hope she won't be embarrassed that I posted about this .. i really just wanted to publicly acknowledge that I missed out on a big big wonderful part of who she is .. a wonderfully beautiful and talented woman. And while this portrait isn't her it is like her in so many ways .. those big beautiful dark eyes and thick eyebrows only her hair is not dark but a beautiful curly auburn red. I wanted to also say that I love her my daughter so much and wish hope and happiness for her with all my heart .. there is a heart on this portrait. She is on my heart. The words love and mercy are written there on a calligraphy practice page by my own mother .. it is part of a bible verse she wrote .. I have your back my beautiful daughter even when I can't do all that you need.. I root for you.. I am hoping for you and .. i pray for you. I want to go to the ends of the earth for you. ..

Today's post is trying to be brave like Amy .. and speak truth from my heart. If you would like to have this portrait, please email me at iwilldream4ever@aol.com. It is painted on a reclaimed file divider with a page of calligraphy text written on my my mother and some pattern tissues. I am using all these items that my mother saved for a long long time and instead of discarding everything I am using them as a canvas to paint portraits of people and animals and tell stories about Africa and everything else.  Thanks for stopping over and I'll see you tomorrow.

Day 69 and King

Today is day sixty nine I am nearly thirty days away from being done. Last night I popped over to the ladies stitching social that I go to from time to time and was talking to one of the young ladies that attends. I was the youngest and now she is the youngest. She showed me a photo of her dog, a white German Sheppard and instantly it provoked a memory for me. Lately after writing over sixty stories I sometimes am at a loss for a story.. maybe you can tell .. hopefully not. I am rememoring my life so I am going to try to tell this from the angle of something that blessed my life.. even if it wasn't all pleasant, it was impactful for sure. I also want to say that because I am now in contact with Josephine of ChildUK.org I am telling this story to the children there that are so brave and beautiful and have been through some great trials in their young lives. 

The dog .. I drew this dog whose name was King because I remember last night how big this dog was seeing my new friends photo of her dog. Even though he is a German Sheppard, he's huge. To a child he may feel something like a giant. When I lived in Africa there was a class full of children that were my age and a few of them became close friends to me. One girl was Jackie .. she was friendly and animated just like me and I can only remember having a lot of fun with her. I went to her house many times. Her dog's name was King and he was a giant to me and white .. I always tried not to be afraid of him when I went to her house. But I'm sure you can imagine that a dog is excited when someone new comes around. I never thought of him as a German Sheppard because he was white so this part is new information. The dog loved Jackie .. This story isnt really about King he is just the poke that helped me remember her. I think we got to be close friends when I was in the 4th grade. I didn't know that she was sick from something. I never knew what was wrong. I could never tell by looking at her that she was having problems. But one day she told me that she was going to have to go to the hospital in Germany to have surgery. We played chinese jump rope that day. We laughed and played like we always did. I was sure that I would be able to play with her again when she came home. A few days later I rode my bike to school and was the first one in class and my teacher was there. She didn't say hello really .. she seemed upset but I didn't know why. I think in fourth grade I was about nine or ten. Then suddenly she blurted out, Jackies full name and announced that she was dead. Just like that .. no careful letting me know .. no letting me in on this news in an easy way.. just matter of factly. I said .. Oh NO I just played with her she's fine. Then the teacher explained that she died on the operating table. I was in shock of course. All I could manage to do was tell every child that came into the room the same thing. I never cried .. I just could not believe that this happened. There was no funeral, there was no crying, there was no chance to process any of this grief .. So i cry now .. I cry for Jackie .. for the loss of my friend, for the strange way that I was given this sad news. I never got to tell Jackies family that I loved their daughter and that I loved the dog King and how much she loved her dog. I never got to say sorry for their loss. It's ok that I cry about this now because I can just have this and it's ok to have my feelings. But I can also be grateful that I had a friend that was like me that liked me and that I liked and that for some reason had to leave here sooner than I would have liked. I missed her a lot. I do still think of her but not in the same way. Today when a child dies schools bring in counselors and help the children. We didn't have that then. Maybe you don't have that for yourself .. its ok to cry. And then it's ok to get on with living. To live fully I think is to pay respect for those that left too soon. those are just my thoughts .. I am sure that I will see Jackie again and that is my own belief. I think this experience so young has made me more tender hearted towards the hurting and maybe caused me some fear in living. I am grateful that I am not too old to learn more about life and myself . I'm grateful that I can tell you about Jackie ..  I am going to practice living with less fear and with my joy, i want to have joy every day .. even when life makes me sad.. painting gives me joy. This daily practice of painting has changed my perspective .. i would highly recommend you try some daily practice that you love and see where it takes you. 

If you would love to have this beautiful dog portrait in your home just email me at iwilldream4ever@aol.com. I will be back tomorrow. Have a wonderful day!!! 

Day 68 and Toodles

Today is day 68 I didn't sleep well last night so I got a late start today and that darned tooth is hurting yet again .. I need to get it checked but that is the way of things.. i will put this off till I have to .. ha .. So this paper says lazy dog on it but I never thought of Toodles as a lazy dog. I met Toodles at my girlfriends house when I went to stay at her home. I don't think either of us ever expected that I would spend so much time with her but I did. It was a rough time in my life and Toodles was there when I was there. She was being cared for by my friend because the owner was out of town. I have to say that I was a very sad and hurting woman at that time. I slept a lot. There was one day that I was laying on the couch .. being lazy!!!! haha .. i was the lazy one.. and i was sad .. and Toodles came crawling up to me and laid right on my solar plexus. I really felt that he knew that I was hurting and he laid where he knew that my pain was... or where he knew that it would do the most good. I didnt' even know Toodles and most of the time he was pretty shy and didn't really get to close to me but as I lay there he comforted me beyond belief. I was truly honored that he would do this .. i felt very loved by this animal and I really really needed it at that time. I'm so grateful that Toodles did this for me that day .. I have and never will forget Toodles and what he did that day. I was going to say I didn't think this portrait was as good as some of the others but you know what it doesn't even matter cause Toodles looks how I remember him. Sweet beautiful soul he was.

So . if you would like to own Toodles just let me know by emailing me at iwilldream4ever@aol.com. I'll be back tomorrow .. have a great day!!

Day 67 and The Lazy Brown Fox

The day is number sixty seven and the title of the piece is The Lazy Brown Fox. I had to give it that title because I painted this on a piece of practice calligraphy paper that my mom had saved. I have gradually been going through all the paper ephemera that my mother saved. I think that the interesting thing is that I have learned more about my mother after her passing by going through her saved collection of papers then I did talking to her. She loved calligraphy and I think when she was living in Japan she took some classes. I do know that she loved the whole art of sumi painting and the creation of textural characters. She often wanted to recreate words or poetry in calligraphy to share with friends or just to put on her own wall. She has a whole book of hand lettered practice pages. This page gave me a clue what my next animal to paint would be. I have no idea where the thought that a fox was lazy but maybe it has something to do with how little they will work for food. I really don't know. I have only had a few sightings of foxes in my life time and one night I was driving my boys home and there was a driving rain and I hit a fox that was running across the road. I tried in vain to keep from hitting the fox but it just couldn't be avoided. I must say I was quite distressed over this event. I never ever want to have any part in killing an animal for any reason unless perhaps for self defense but even that would be difficult for me. I appreciate the Native American Indians respect of animals. Sacrificing an animal only for the survival of the man. I love this fox .. i love the undone parts. I was going to say I am not tired anymore but I just about fell asleep and it's morning!!!  I must need a nap haha ..

Ok if you would love to own this lazy brown fox just email me at iwilldream4ever@aol.com. Now only 33 days left .. so grateful to be practicing a painting a day .. see you tomorrow..

Day 66 My Misty Girl

Today is day 66 and I definitely work better when it's the morning and I am NOT TIRED!!!.. So morning painting is going to stay as much as humanly possible. At night when I wait to do the painting when I am tired .. it's like torture haha.. so no more torture. Only morning painting no matter what .. ha.

This is a portrait of my dog Misty when she was a puppy. She was such a beautiful dog. And I have to say .. i cried while I painted this this morning. I loved this Misty girl so so much. She had my heart completely. She was so much my dog and she was so faithful. She passed away just nearly two years ago in March. I feel bad saying but I examine my heart and see that I loved her more then some humans I have loved. Her love and forgiving nature was so unconditional. I want to believe that I will see her again in my next life. She was so smart and when I gave her a plastic frog toy when she was just a puppy she never injured it.. she loved to play and I would throw it to her and she would always bring it back to me but she never chewed it up .. always played with it gingerly really .. so careful not to hurt it. She played that way with Molly .. Misty was a big girl when she grew up and so so smart. She always wanted to be right beside me and her favorite spot was outside on the porch. She would always opt to stay there if I offered her to come inside, I always felt like she enjoyed surveying her land and I couldn't blame her, where I lived was such a beautiful spot in the world. With beautiful trees and long view, beauty and nature all around. I miss it. I buried her under a tree on the edge of the yard. I miss that I can't be in that spot where she is now. I honestly cry so much when I think of her still. I don't know that I will ever get over losing her. I do feel that she was my most trusted and faithful confidant. I love my Misty girl.

I'm not sure I can part with this portrait but if you really want it please email me at iwilldream4ever@aol.com. I also will do dog portraits on commission if you'd want one. Have a fabulous day and I'll see you tomorrow.