The Emptiness and Gratitude of Fall

I decided today to post here on my blog since it's been a while. I happened over to Jude Hill's blog Spiritcloth and felt led to add something new. Perhaps no one knows what people think in their heads .. i try to stay out of mine but often there is just too much in there ha ... and it's good (although at times scary) to have a place like this to put them. I still continue to find myself attracted to the little creatures that I run across on the property where I live. With this one there is a little story. I was out walking my dogs one morning and often I am looking where I am going and watching the dogs and just plodding along. This morning I guess I had my head down, it was cold and wind was brisk, my eyes were watering. As I walked a long I noticed this guy walking on the road. A long way away from water. My molly dog is mini dachshund and she is always finding something to get ahold of and for its fate I guess the little crustacean did not get seen by her. I'd say he was and she were lucky to have not run into each other as those pinchers there could really do some damage I'm afraid. So .. we walked past and I steered them clear on the way back home. I decided that this guy was so unusual to me that I would find my camera and go back to take some photos. So as you can see I did make it back and really searched for several minutes to find him. He stopped for a while and let me take some photos and when he realized that I posed no threat to him he continued his valiant effort to go somewhere. I know we have several streams that are nearby but he was far from any body of water. We had a few rainstorms during that previous few days but I didn't think we had any flowing streams by the road that would have somehow pushed him out into the expanse of this land. Nonetheless he was there .. in the middle of the road and i took several photos and just watched him going. I wanted to see where he was going and I knew that there was a stream up ahead. I think it may have taken hours to get there at the rate he was going and as the time passed he squeaked with every step. My lack of patience got the better of me and I decided to help him a long. With a piece of trash and a stick I carefully held him down and carefully walked him to the stream, which I am happy to say he is now in ... unless of course he decided to visit the neighbors up the road. And also you can see that the leaves have all gone now and there is little green left. Even the leaves on the ground have been crunched over and I have to hunt to find a whole leaf. I find myself more lonely with the grayness of these days.. so many gray days strung together, some rain and forced inside where the lights are low and the work is stifled with little room. But this day I was grateful to find this guy. I know he would have made it on his own. I didn't want to risk having a car drive over him. Silly ....i've grown attached to the creatures. More writing below. 

 

 

 

        I couldn't post about a crawdad with out wondering what it's showing up in my life now means. As with all things there is some lesson to learn here. Perhaps this seems odd but I take these events as wonderful gifts from the earth.....it's nice to have a conversation with the earth. I have been busy creating. I did want to also share some of that. I have been enjoying the process of discovery that pushing through things gives me. Here are some things I've been doing. Mind you .. this is just some of it. Thanks as always for stopping over and having a look .. I've got so many more things to say .. it just takes time away from painting and playing and making art. :) Stop by again soon! 

 This is discharged on the back of a garment. On the right is the close up of the eye. I read in Jude's blog today that they are talking about eyes there. I love eyes and always have.

Below is another discharged painting on fabric. Sometimes I wonder if it is a waste to do these since they will continue to eat the fabric.....maybe then I can just look at them as temporary works of art. As you can see .. the eyes just seem to peer through you. Next to that is more discharge just using leaves as a stencil. I love botanical designs.

 Below is rust on colored fabric. I have made several of these that I am going to be using in a few projects. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the color combinations here. Did I tell you that I love these colors together????

More botanical and did you notice that the leaves sort of resemble feathers????  and another painting on fabric. I guess as I continue I care less and less about what someone would think .. and even though you may think that is not something you would do .. meaning that you do care .. i mean this in a way that .. for me .. if I decide that I want to try something I say to myself .. why not? Just do it...who cares? THere is no wrong way really. Who decides what is right. And yes saying that reminds me that there has been much time in my life when I strived to do things, make art, create, do what I want to do but by the rules by what the teacher says to do ... maybe it's taken me all my life to just do what ever I like . ... seems silly but still true.
 and again with the eyes. I love to paint eyes. They seem to say so many things ...they look into your gut with out your even knowing. They see all that is hidden without telling. They say the truth .. and what you see is in you ......

 Another leaf that reminds me of a feather. and below the sunset that I witnessed with that fiery blood red sky ... the furnace of the earth ending another day ....illuminating the sky with brillance. Such a lovely sunset. Such a lovely day. I miss the summer.

The day after it didn't feel like Monday

All day yesterday I kept having to think of what day it was. Not sure why but I kept thinking that I was missing something and I had this longing that just seemed to cloud my day even though the sun was scorching hot. I don't write much about my life in the past here but I will say that I am a survivor. I suppose there are a lot of survivors in the world. It could be from anything but it is from many things. I'm grateful to be here. However some days the past just seems to flood into my day .. it never has my permission and usually its not associated with reminiscing nostalgic memories. It is generally a subtle awareness like a creeping fog after a long rain. It clouds my vision with unpleasant feelings. Sometimes I want to escape from it, most times I just have to sit through it and these times it's a blessing to have some way to creatively process this STUFF. I have many ways that I can do that and sometimes that one creative outlet just seems to make itself known. Lately I have really enjoyed stitching and dyeing. I have also been drawn to the use of silks for dyeing. I've been outside in this heat creating some solar dye pots. I have three going.

The stitching here on my blog is a small piece that I am doing as part of the magic diaries series that I am happy to participate in. I have learned some really interesting methods of stitching. This piece is my first attempt at weaving fabric and I have tried to make it a sort of nine patch. The fabric is silk that has been dyed with eucalyptus ( a gift from the blueberry man) and I have to say I just love the softeness of silk fabric. And I can't tell you why but I had a scrap of a cashmere sweater that had been washed and felted some and I have used that as the backing. Its so soft to hold and it's just the right piece to work on for comfort .. for passing through some of the tough days. It soothes me. I have no idea yet what else I may do with it. But it may be a center piece to something larger. It will be one of my pieces to arrange with something else I think. I did invisible baste it but my stitches were close together so you can sort of see where they are by the indentations of the fabric I love how the whole thing feels. I learned the stitch on the circle and the thread beads from Jude. The dyeing from India Flints book. The other dyeing that I am doing I have picked up from blogs and other stitchers that I follow. Here are some photos of whats cooking outside.

 Ok in the blueberry pot I added a few cotton pieces and some silk. The top knotted piece in my blue glove hand is silk that I knotted before throwing in. To the right of that is the unknotted silk and below that is the same piece dried. I do love the purple shade when it's wet and it appears that the color just turns to more violet or grayish purple as it dries and I did one piece that I haven't photographed that just looks straight gray. That was after a vinegar bath. The lace looks pretty here but after being in the sun a day I didn't like how it looked so I dunked it in the walnut dye. Above the lace is a small embroidered napkin or towel. Again it looks really pretty wet but it has reverted to that more dingy purple upon drying. Just below here is a large photo of a pot that I have had brewing outside for about a month. I have had a lesson in this dye process and no doubt it is written about in dye books etc, but I tend to learn things the hard way and one of my walnut dye pots sprung a leak after I put a cup of vinegar along with a copper pot. Imagine your dye pot rusting ?? Duh .... oh well .. live and learn. SO I didnt want to throw out the really interesting liquer that seemed to be there in that pot of copper. So I went outside and put it in a crock pot that I had been using for some dying. I put the contents of the rusted pot in there and just left it with the lid on and forgot about it. Below is what it looked like with the lid just off after all that time.
 I'm sure there is some scientific name for whats happened here but I don't know what that is. But it had a fabulous texture and made for some pretty exciting photographs!!! This shows the inside of the pot and that great texture! Then .. I did a what if .. I have been experimenting all my life and thought hmmmmm wonder what it would do to a piece of silk??? I ran inside and found a piece big enough to cover the dish. The following photos show the progression. First one on the left is over the pot, next touching the liquid and then I put the lid on and the next photo is one day later. I got way excited about how it's picking up colors from whats brewing in there!!! Pretty neat .. I'm going to leave it for week if i can and see what develops!! Then the last photo is of me with my golashes on sitting on a chair trying to get cool!! Have a lovely day!!