Loss and life at the beach

Some days I feel like I'm on a long never ending vacation. Some days I am homesick for old spaces. I find myself processing loss while I process box after box of fabrics that were held for some day projects. My mother loved her fabric, most of which I'd never laid eyes on until now after she is gone. Somehow that fact really has me battling waves of questions .. how come? Some  days I find it almost too much to realize that we never got to share the joys of what we both clearly loved. I find it nearly uncanny to see that she has collected a fair amount of linens and crocheted edge pillow cases and intricately stitched embroidery on delicate hankies and tea towels. And then i wonder how is it that I love those same things when I was miles and miles apart from her. Grief comes as persistent as the tide. I'm grateful that the ocean brings a steady stream of cleansing and many trinkets to make the solemn days a bit joyful. I know my mom loved the ocean and that is one thing we did share. And I still love to collect the bounty of the sea. The last visit had me in awe of the treasures i found. 

 I was amazed really to find this snail alive in this beautiful shell. I had it on my hand for a while before I put him back in the water. It was not more then the width of a quarter.

 I always find that the sea or any nature really inspires me. I thought the rock with all those lovely holes would make a great piece to add stones too for a necklace. I'll post it when i do that.

 In all my days of living or walking on the beach in Florida I have never found a fully intact sea urchin on the beach. We  found them often in another literal sea but never here in Florida. I kept this specimen and beautiful shell it left me.

Below is a beautiful piece of ocean life that also washed ashore. With those beautiful purple protrusions and the circles dotting the surface I found this a most wonderful experience. The design of it has me contemplating a new painting or something .. aren't they just fabulous to look at?

 This is a shovel head shark that was just caught as I was walking nearby. I waited to see him get reeled in. It was whipping it's tail so fiercely that the fisherman had a hard time cutting him loose from his hook. But finally he wiggled off and had to be helped back into the surf .. so tired from fighting for it's life. I was glad to see it swim away.

 The metallic of my car paint is kind of distracting the lovely white polished degraded shell with holes. I really loves these holey formations. They intrigue me. And below a spiral even though it is an incomplete shell it is still wearing it's spiral and this .. is a pattern i find repeats itself in my stitching and my painting.

I hope to increase my words here .. as my productivity increases. I am working on an outdoor space that is my own .. a sanctuary for work and meditation. I hope to share it with you also ..

Thanks for stopping over.

Life at a Snails Pace

Sometimes life does seem to go at a snails pace and it has felt that way for some time. Interesting how the spiral on a snails home is going up ~ a great reminder that I don't need to continue on the previous months downward spiral.. lost to negativity. That direction doesn't seem to work however there is one positive aspect to being in the dulldrums of life .. when it shifts it has a significant positive impact.

I have to say that I am so extremely grateful to have a love of nature and even the most ordinary or slow creatures can give me so much. I spent over an hour just taking photo after photo of this beautiful creature
this past week. I was fascinated with the texture of his  very long slender body. I watched in amazement as it's eye looking attennae would protrude out to search the expanse of the universe that lay before it. And at other times it would completely hide them inside .. so as not to be certain which end was the front. There was the added satisfaction of finding it on a plastic sheeting that I used to rust some large fabrics.. the rust had stained the plastic making it a rich colorful background for the snail.  How I delight in the patterns that mother nature provides ... so many are simply exquisitely beautiful.

The shift from my downward spiral has taken me to complete gratitude. I have a list that is so long for why I am so grateful at this time. I think for the first time in my life I understand why it is important to ask for the things that you want. Oddly enough many of those things are just there for the asking. I think being clear about what you want is very important. I was reading on Jude Hill's blog about her questions regarding want and need of dyed cloth. It is good to question these things. I believe that needs sustain us and wants give us more of the joy. Certainly we don't always get what we want but often I have not asked for something that I wanted because I already felt that I didnt deserve it... for a variety of reasons. But this past week or so I have been so blessed in so many ways that it just seems to be blazed in my brain .. that I must ask for what I want..... in a literal sense and a prayerful spiritual sense. It makes me think about how empty my life could be if I never asked. There are still so many things for me to learn from these recent revelations about asking. About wants and needs. Nature has a way of giving me so many of these lessons. I am almost urged to remind anyone that may read this .. to slow down to snails pace and see what is right there making itself present in your life. They come and they go and sometimes if we are still enough to look and watch there is something wonderful to see or experience .. I am grateful for time, silence, and gifts by man and nature. Thank you from my heart .. from the deepest parts of me. .... thank you.