Tuesday Twisted Telling

This is a photo of a tree painting that I did last year but never photographed. I totally love the look of the walnut stained paper. It's an early morning mistiness that feels sort of dream like. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a dream and I wonder when I'm going to wake up.

I woke up early this morning and fell back asleep. I woke up very upset that this very large and apparently very talented bug could not be contained in jar. Funny I have been thinking about this dream throughout the morning trying to understand what it means to me and just as I have typed this here I had a thought. I've always considered dreams to be all aspects of myself and when I referred to the bug as creative I thought maybe I am the bug. Strong and persistent and refusing to be held under a glass jar. But there I was trying with all my might to put the bug inside and he was at times bug and at times interesting little creature. But what woke me up was that I was most upset that I couldn't get it in there and bug was going to get out. I was afraid of what it might do when I really don't know if it was bad or not. Either way .. maybe more insight just posting it here .. I am also always trying to experiment. I really do enjoy playing with rust and stain and bleach. An interesting combination of things. Also I have a dilema. I am trying to clear out a few things that I have been storing in my kitchen. I can just bag them up and take them to the thrift store. I promised myself and a friend that I would do this today so that I would perhaps be more motivated to follow through. But as I look at all again I think of something that I can do with the fabric.. yes most of it is fabric or cloths of some kind. I certainly don't "need" any of it but .. i seem to want to do something with everything. Maybe I will be go back to something I said I would do last year and document it and maybe some how that will justify keeping it. haha .. all crazy things I tell myself. I have no attachment to the things just a feeling that I "might" use it for something creative. Well... I'll try it again and see what happens. Here are two experiments that I have ... I had these two great shapes of cardboard that were inside of some cheap frames that I recently bought and wanted to paint something on them. I wanted to see how some of the white on white would translate a bit bigger. Here they are;

I am mostly interested in how the color shows through the white paint. Something about this intrigues me. The one on the left is not really anatomically correct but I wasn't worried so much about it but I guess there is this part of me that still wants some level of perfection ... aaaccckkkk.... sometimes I can throw out that thinking and make whatever.

Anyway .. my Tuesday moment of messages.I feel scattered today...

Also I'm frustrated thinking that I like to do so many different types of creating and I just find I am so critical of myself for not picking one area. Maybe I should have called this my Tuesday Day of Dilemas. ...